We all know that the majority of African American parents choose not to get married. But we also know that half of all American marriages end in divorce, which means that many people should never have gotten married in the first place. In this episode of "Financial Lovemaking", we determine whether or not African American men who choose to become "baby's daddies" are making a decision that is better, worse or different from those who choose to get married.
The rapper Diddy chose not to marry any of the mothers of his children, but it has cost him dearly.
Diddy Does it Up
Is this the Diddy we have all come to know and love? The year was 1997, and the event is the opening of Sean Comb's now defunct Justin's restaurant. With that baby face and ill-fitting suit, Diddy, then Puff Daddy, looks like a kid who's been playing in his father's closet.
Ron Galella, WireImage.com
A long-time player in the game called "hip hop mogul," Diddy played tough guy with fellow baller Jay-Z in 2000. They both look a little ashy. Is that a wash cloth is Comb's back pocket? Lord.
J. Vespa, WireImage.com
Continuing to try to keep it real, Diddy dated felow middle-class urbanite Jennifer Lopez in 2000. As Lopez rocked her fake Latina gang member do rag, Combs strutted the red carpet pretending to be a princely thug. The curved cap rim gave him away -- no thug would do that! Incidentally, this was around the time Combs and Lopez were arrested for involvement in a shoot out in a nightclub -- thug enough for ya?
Frank Micelotta, Getty Images
Um. I don't know what to say here, except wrong, wrong, wrong and NEXT!!!! The year 2000 was a very bad year for the artist formerly known as Puffy's style sense.
Ron Galella, WireImage.com
Unfortunately, 2001 was also not a very good year. Puff hit the streets in the type of wide-legged baggy pants that should be reserved for a 'Fat Albert' character.
Jim Spellman, WireImage.com
Always known as a great performer, Diddy took to the stage in 2002 to show the world that he is a devout Mets fan in head-to-toe gear. Still a little childish. Would Diddy's style ever transform?
Kevork Djansezian
Again modeling his look after a member of the 'Fat Albert' cast, poor Puff hit Fashion Week dressed like the bass player in the Junkyard Band in an over-sized Kangol hat. He was at a 2001 Jean-Paul Gaultier fashion show people!!!! SHM. But I can't talk. I would get an all-white suit immediately dirty.
Serge Benhamou, Prestige / Getty Images
Then, BAM! In 2003, Diddy made the change from fashion misfit to trendsetter. He filled out a little bit, and took to the runway of his own fashion show to take a bow in a well-cut suit. It's a little shiny, and the sleeves are short, but he looks good!
Mark Lennihan, AP
Continuing on a winning streak, Puff hit the 2003 MTV Movie Awards red carpet in a very mature linen suit, while sporting the super-dark sunglasses that he has worn since the beginning of his career. Most Scorpios love to cover the eyes which they say are the window to the soul. Or maybe they help block the paparazzi's glare.
Dave Hogan, Getty Images
In 2003, Diddy wore casual outifts without having to pull off a "thug" costume, as in earlier years. After the papes come, you can be effortlessly yourself. There go those shades again.
Lester Cohen, WireImage.com
He pays tens of thousands each month in child support. While the actor Mel Gibson is being forced to give over half a billion dollars to his ex-wife of 28 years. Which is the better outcome - to pay for 18 years or to pay for the past 18 years all at once?
Click here to listen as Dr Boyce and Tia talk Love and Money.


Comments: (39)
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By: james on 4/28/2009 7:26PM
Marrige is a sacret vow and it's ironic a lot of blacks choose to avoid it.Does this mean many are not ready for commitment.....or was the evil slave master right when he divided the black family putting women at the head....It's a shame...a race of BASTARDS....I'm not proud at all.
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By: triciagirl on 5/03/2009 1:23AM
It's a sacred vow that most white people break. I would rather not tell the damn lie than to tell it and then look even less ethical later on.
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By: JZA11 on 5/05/2009 1:46PM
James! You're an idiot! It's because the white slave master divided up the black family that we have these problems today. I bet if I came and put my foot on your neck everyday for the rest of your life you would know how to get up. I bet if I took your woman into my bed and kept you in chains every night you wouldn't know how to stop me. The ill effects of slavery will not go away until Jehovah's kingdom makes all things new. And once the resurrection takes place as is stated in the holy writings, all those black families that were torn apart by white men will have an opportunity to do things right under Jehovah's kingdom with Jesus as king. Then you will see that blacks were always capable to love one another for a lifetime under the right circumstances.
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By: poppy on 5/07/2009 11:40PM
Bastard is a stong word and there are many children out there that don't feel like they are bastards, their fathers were merely sperm donors that took the opportunity to flee or run for one reason or another. There are also children whose fathers stay with their significant others with out marriage and live the life of husband and wife, we all get caught up in the moment and things happen mistakes but we love them anyway
they are a art of us no matter what the word is strong and in my opinion it is wrong, no child should be subject to his mother and fathers mistakes lust, and passionate mistakes.
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By: Triciagirl on 4/28/2009 7:41PM
This show is interesting because it shows that marriage is not always the best solution for a relationship
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By: Triciagirl on 4/28/2009 10:35PM
Diddy is choosing to not get married because he is a jerk. He is only thinking of himself and not those kids.
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By: Fox' on 4/28/2009 9:37PM
Studies has shown that half the Americans who end in divorce never took the proper steps to secure their love before marriage. This is a new era in the times we live in. In the past our parents had morales and values that the family must stick together. They never thought about divorce. They stood by the family till the end. We as a new era need to take a step backward and learn from our parents. Once we sit down and think about the children growing up without both parents are not the steps to take as we assess our youth of the times. We must instill in our youth what our parents taught us to love your family for who the two choose to marry and stick with the marriage. Both need to agree to work the marriage out when times are hard and don't give up. There must be morales and values in order for the marriage to work. We know there is a lot of temptation that cause us to sample. God didn't say sample and move to the next. At the rate of divorce in these times, our youth don't stand a chance to have a wholesome family as our parents. This is what we call a new generation of 'fall in love, then fall out of love whe there's temptation.' We as individuals must stand strong and firm for what we believe and stick to our morals and values as we know from our parents. Do the right thing. Let's build a wall to stop the divorce rate.
Fox'
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By: triciagirl on 4/28/2009 10:35PM
Actually, divorce isn't the problem. If you just stop marriage, you won't have any divorce. You don't drink beer through your nose, even if you could do it by focusing. Marriage is not natural, since men are not naturally wired to be with the same women for their entire lives. All this is man made, religious construct.
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By: Char on 4/28/2009 11:37PM
Funny you are. You actually had to spread your nonsensical ideology to justify your sluttiness and lack of moral control. Hope your different wiring is not producing more differently wired little men who also will perpertrate more children born to poverty, misery and the possibility of never having a loving family experience because daddy was too busy to be a man and take care of his children . Afterall, there are too many women to become wired with than to concern yourself with children you produced . Someone said it best in a previous blog , you are a jerk , but children have to suffer greatly because of it .
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By: raywil3 on 4/29/2009 1:12PM
I disagree. Making a commitment is something an intelligent being does. It isn't frivoulsy done. A man and a woman can commit to each other if they want. They must realize that there are hard times with the good. They must care as much for each other as they do themselves. Are people tempted to go outside their commitment? Of course, but what makes us different from animals is the fact we have the ability to reason. We don't have to act upon our urges.
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