OK, was I confused when I found out that Tiny and Toya (TI's "baby mama" and Lil Wayne's ex-wife, respectively) were being given a reality show on BET? Yeah, I was a little surprised. If only I could find a way to become a high profile baby mama -- that seems to be the way to go. With my being a man, I guess that might be difficult to accomplish. All jokes aside, I watched this show with tremendous curiosity, as I think we can all learn from observing the thought patterns of those who live behind the scenes of our favorite celebs. Part of me feels sorry for both of these women, who seem to be desperately fighting their way out of the massive shadows being cast by the powerful men in their lives. Even the daughters of TI and Lil Weezy are trying to get their own reality show. Maybe they too are feeling the weight of their daddies' collective fame. Why don't we just give a reality show to the family dog? Now that would be hot!
As I watched the show, I could see a huge number of Financial Lovemaking issues arising. Women across America can empathize with being forgotten in the midst of their partner's success.
How the challenge of a partner's success is handled varies: some women are fine with being in the shadow, while others struggle to find their own identities. I got the sense that Tiny (TI's girlfriend) has accepted her role behind the scenes, but constantly grapples with the fact that she too has tremendous talent as a singer. I'm not sure about Toya, or any woman who has ever decided to date Lil Wayne (yes, he has a reckless life and I hope he slows down before it kills him). Here are some questions I had for Tiny and Toya as I watched the show (which wasn't half bad, other than needing sub-titles to understand the massive overload on ebonics that seemed to pour out of the mouths of these intelligent women):
Affiliation: 'The T.O. Show' on VH1
Side note: Alabama's very own football star simply known as "T.O." -- literally let it all hang out for the photo shoot promoting his new reality series, in July 2009. The show revolves around his life off the field as he searches for love, repair family relationships and make the move from Dallas to Buffalo.
Black Reality TV Stars
Terrell Owens
Affiliation: 'The T.O. Show' on VH1
Side note: Alabama's very own football star simply known as "T.O." -- literally let it all hang out for the photo shoot promoting his new reality series, in July 2009. The show revolves around his life off the field as he searches for love, repair family relationships and make the move from Dallas to Buffalo.
VH1
Ray Cunningham
Affiliation: 'College Hill: Virginia State University' on BET
Side note: One of the more memorable characters from the Black Entertainment Television network reality ranks, Cunningham has become an openly gay LGBT advocate, budding actor and busy blogger, who was featured in Adam Bouska's groundbreaking NoH8 Campaign, which assembled California notables responding to the state's Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage. Cunningham was also cast in acclaimed filmmaker Maurice Jamal's new forthcoming TV project 'Friends and Lovers.'
Adam Bouska
Miss New York
Affiliation:'Flavor of Love' and 'I Love New York' on VH1
Side note: The upstate New York drama queen competed for hip-hop hype-man Flavor Flav's love twice and was rejected both times.
MC Hammer
Affiliation: 'Hammertime' on A&E
Side note: Stanley Kirk Burrell seems to have done it all: Joined the navy; won Grammy Awards; danced for KFC popcorn chicken; fathered six children; wiggled his manhood in a Speedo bikini on a music video; went bankrupt; became a preacher; and now doing reality TV. 'Hammertime' is a look inside the family life of the man formerly known as one of the riches entertainers of his era.
A&E
Keyshia Cole
Affiliation: 'The Way It Is' on BET
Side note: In an interview, thuggish ruggish rap icon Young Jeezy claimed that the hip-hop soul songstress asked him to marry her but he turned her down.
Mo'Nique
Affiliation: 'Charm School' on VH1
Side note: While promoting the movie 'Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins,' Mo'Nique told Oprah Winfrey that co-star Martin Lawrence once gave her invaluable advice about show business.
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth
Affiliation: 'The Apprentice' on NBC and 'The Surreal Life' on VH1
Side note:The former White House staffer proudly became the superbitch of reality TV.
Tyra Banks
Affiliation: 'America's Next Top Model' on UPN and The CW
Side note: A supermodel of the highest degree, the Inglewood, Los Angeles native sought power behind the scenes and inked a lucrative deal to produce projects for Warner Bros. Television.
Snoop Dogg
Affiliation: 'Snoop Dogg's Father Hood' on E!
Side note: In March 2008, Snoop released his ninth solo album 'Ego Trippin.'
Harlem Heights
Affiliation: BET's latest reality show revolving around young, black, urban professionals.
Side note: Created by MTV industry insiders Randolph Sturrup and Kurt Williamson, the show features a diverse cast of eight young adults from various backgrounds with Harlem as its backdrop.
1) Does Tiny (TI's girlfriend) really enjoy hearing her husband make songs about how many other women he sleeps with? Does that make her feel disrespected and does she tolerate it because he is rich and famous?
2) Speaking of Tiny, does she feel that her own career as a successful singer has been cut short because of her commitment to TI's success? What is the appropriate tradeoff for a good mother? This sacrifice is magnified by the fact that the father of her children is now spending a year in prison and has consistent threats on his life.
3) Does Toya feel that it's ok that her daughter was on stage dancing while listening to her daddy sing about how he wishes he could "f" every girl in the world? Does that take away any of her "good mother" points? Does having a famous ex-husband mean that anything goes when it comes to his behavior? Will her daughter's future relationships be affected by her father's behavior?
4) Does the "Pizza man" philosophy (mentioned during the show) really define the perception of African American relationships? A "Pizza man" translates to a "piece of man," which one of the women argued is better than having no man at all. Does this ideology most likely apply when dealing with wealthy, successful men who have their freedom and are desired by many different women?
In this episode of Financial Lovemaking, S Tia Brown and I discuss the relationship between a man's wealth and what he is allowed to get away with in his relationships. Click the image to listen!
Dr Boyce Watkins is a finance professor at Syracuse University. He does regular commentary in national media, including CNN, MSNBC, BET and more. To have Boyce's commentary delivered directly to your e-mail, please click here.
Comments: (29)
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By: Munya Robinson on 8/07/2009 5:27PM
I Love the Tiny and Toya Show. It's so inspring I think these young black women are strong and Taking care of their kids. They are Mothers Not Friends to their Kids. I Love it Keep the show going And for you the Viewers that Can't say anything nice Then Don't say anything at all.
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By: lafytafy on 8/08/2009 12:10AM
I like the show. These women are just trying to be supportive of their families and in the process are losing themselves, especially speaking on Tiny. Being in the spotlight, the media will blow things up, cut and edit stuff in a way that will make anybody seem crazy.
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By: Sandra on 8/08/2009 12:30AM
What do you like about the show? Just curious!
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By: MD Robinson on 8/10/2009 2:49AM
I like The show Because The Young Ladies.Tiny And Toya Are Very Caring. Toya Is Always trying to help her Family out. Some People When They Made it Big They Forget All About their Family's I love the Show And if Tiny Wants to Wait on her Man TI I said Wait On girl.People That Have Never been in their Shoes won't have a clue. About their life's I enjoyed the Show So much I can't wait until it come on. I think Tiny and Toya Are Some great Young Women.And For the Blogers Who Made a comment about. The Way Tiny and Toya Talks Who Cares I guess everybody is suppose to speak the proper language.PLEASE What is the proper language.Keep the show rolling 2 thumbs up for me
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By: Obamasnextprez on 8/08/2009 11:39AM
They are both beautiful women..white people have their standard of beauty and black people have theirs. I dont think the shows a beautiful pagent so why would you call these women unnattractive. Stop being superficial! I bet you dont look so hot either.
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By: Lilmoma027 on 8/08/2009 12:18PM
I think it's good tiny and toya have they own tv show. They trying to get money too they have to live like everybody else and also mouths to feed to there men's aint there right now We'll tiny man aint but Toya I know how you feel you girl I 'm there now but that's life I meant I fell them it's there turn for the spot light we'll tiny already no what it's like but toya don't girl do you thang close mouths don't get feed. If you all ask me I think it's good that there daughter are trying to get there own tv show aint nuthin wrong with falling in your parents foot print if that's what they feel they want. Now I can't speak on when Lil wyane was up there saying he wish he could f**k everygirl in the world but hey it's call intertainment and show buzz so I just say get it the best way it come atch. I thank god almighty that i'm high class ALREADY....
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By: blu on 8/31/2009 1:14AM
Before you respond to another post, you need to invest some time into your grammar. It's absolutely disgusting. There's also a wonderful feature called spellcheck....use it.
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By: sds on 8/08/2009 4:52PM
Please tell me that the post made by Lilmoma027 is a joke the grammer was torturous to say the least. However this is a REALITY show and in the real world outside of the money and fame these are ordinary people that happen to have gotten success through their art.They are not scholars so what you see is their reality bad english and all. However I would like to point out that Tip must have his reasons for loving Tiny and when you experience life you realize there is more to love about a human being then outer appearances.
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By: beautifulone on 8/08/2009 4:51PM
I really did not think I would like Tiny and Toya, but I find myself supporting them every week. They are very down-to-earth and real. I just hope that they focus on their businesses. They are both good mothers, I feel for Tiny b/c TIP is in jail, but when he comes out she will be stronger you know. As for TO, that pic is just hot, I do not watch his show, he doesn't support sistas...so I really can't support a brotha..
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By: DIAMONDEYES on 8/08/2009 6:39PM
I love the show. Many women are going through the very same thing they are going through. Some women are afraid to ask for help, maybe after seeing this show they will get some help. A daughter trying her best to save her mother,how many children are out here trying to make sure their small brother's and sister's are being fed, or are going to school? When most of the time momma is laying up with Tom, Dick, and Harry. Both parent's on drugs. Some parent's don't even care about how their children get to school, or how they are going to be fed. Some parent's have checked out of life. Everyone wasn't brought up the same. We don't know the cost of their oil, in their Alabaster Box. They both have a heart. We as women always think about everyone else, we take care of people, even when we don't feel like it. What's wrong with them trying to find themselves in this world? T.I. need to stop tripping. Tiny didn't cause him to go to jail, so why did she have to stop hanging out with her friend's to go home to him, after he hung up on her? I would have still went out with my girl's. Get a back bone for peak sakes.....I wish them both the best. At least they are trying to change.
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