OK, if you cheer when you read this story, then you need some serious help. If you squirm when you hear it, then I know you're a man. But here it goes:
Three women are facing charges for kidnapping their cheating boyfriend and Krazy gluing his penis to his stomach. They also allegedly threatened him with a gun, and held him hostage in a hotel.
As I mentioned in my analysis of the famous Oakland Salon Beating, I have to remind people that "handlin' your business" on your own is not a good idea in your relationship. It might feel good, but being too emotional can land you in jail.
This leads to a broader Financial Lovemaking question about jealousy and how to handle it. We'd all be lying if we didn't consider doing something angry and illegal in the midst of a jealous rage. The idea that someone would betray us and cut us to the core of our heart can make us feel that they deserve whatever they get. Based on my research on the biochemistry of love, the truth is that there are chemicals going off in your brain that could make you a good candidate for a sturdy straight jacket. Understanding how to manage these emotions can make the difference between good, healthy love and collect phone calls from jail to your mama on Christmas.
In order to help all of us manage our next fit with jealousy, I've decided to share some tips on how to control the jealousy you might feel during a relationship. By following these steps, you might be able to save yourself a whole lot of money in court costs, jail time or other valuable assets that you don't want to lose. In the case of the three women who decided to Krazy glue a man's genitals, they may get the satisfaction of losing their freedom, their careers and their families for several years.
These jealousy tips don't just work for relationships. They work for any situation in which you find yourself feeling jealous for any reason: toward a co-worker who got a promotion or toward a friend who has a relationship that is better than yours. It might also explain away the jealous rages you witness in those around you. It's not something to take personally if you understand what might be going on. Being in the public eye, I've seen a great deal of jealousy up close and it took me a while and a great deal of research to understand how all this works. It was a great growth experience for me.
Cheesy singer/game-show host/comedian Wayne Brady and his wife of nine years Mandie Taketa split in April 2008 after a long separation. The official reason for the divorce was "irreconcilable differences," but Mandie was probably just tired of him spontaneously breaking into song.
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Damon Dash & Rachel Roy: Four Years
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Wayne Brady & Mandie Taketa: Nine Years
Cheesy singer/game-show host/comedian Wayne Brady and his wife of nine years Mandie Taketa split in April 2008 after a long separation. The official reason for the divorce was "irreconcilable differences," but Mandie was probably just tired of him spontaneously breaking into song.
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Tracy Morgan & Sabina Morgan: 22 Years
In 2007, Sabina Morgan threatened to divorce her well-known husband, Tracy, who spent a good part of that year with a court-ordered alcohol-monitoring bracelet around his ankle. She didn't go through with it until January of 2008. She cited the '30 Rock' star's drinking problem as her reason. Do you blame her?
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Pink & Carey Hart: Two Years
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Morgan Freeman & Myrna Colley-Lee: 24 Years
When Morgan Freeman got in a serious car accident on a lonely Mississippi highway back in August of '08 with a woman who was not his wife, he probably figured the cat was out of the bag. Before he left the hospital, Freeman announced he was undergoing divorce proceedings with his wife of 24 years.
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Madonna & Guy Ritchie: Eight Years
The union of Madonna and director husband Guy Ritchie came to an end last fall, weeks after tabloids began speculating about an affair between Madge and baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez. The tabs aren't always wrong: Madonna and A-Rod spent quite a bit of quality time together after she and Guy officially split.
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Swizz Beatz & Mashonda: Four Years
Producer Swizz Beatz and singer Mashonda's separation last year seemed like ordinary marital discord, but the situation turned scandalous when rumors surfaced that Alicia Keys might be to blame. All parties have denied the allegations, but the rumors definitely made the divorce fodder for gossip blogs.
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Kanye West & Alexis Phifer: Six Years (on and off)
Kanye West has been on love lockdown since breaking his engagement with his longtime girlfriend, Alexis Phifer, back in April of 2008. After losing his mother and his girl in a matter of months, its no wonder 'Ye sounds so melancholy on '808's and Heartbreak.'
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Eddie Murphy & Tracey Edmonds: A Few Days
Eddie and Tracey made a fast transition from happily married to bitterly divorced. Two weeks after an unofficial ceremony in Bora Bora on New Year's Day 2008, the couple announced their official break up. Everyone from Mama Murphy to Johnny Gill has been blamed, but only Murphy and Edmonds know the truth.
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Star Jones & Al Reynolds: Four Years
They said it wouldn't last... and they were right. Star and Al's improbable union, which began in November of 2004 with a highly-publicized New York City extravaganza, ended when the former 'View' co-host filed divorce papers in March of '08. What's Al Reynolds to do now that he's no longer Mr. Star Jones?
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Here are the tips on managing your own jealousy:
1) Get a life: If you have a life of your own, you won't spend all your time in somebody else's business. Rather than worrying about what your significant other, your rival or your best friend is doing, focus on what you are doing yourself. This will fill the space in your brain that might normally be spent "hating on" someone or being insecure about someone else's life.
2) Identify the causes of your insecurity: In a relationship, we might be jealous because we feel that we are overweight or not as appealing as our mate's prospects. In a friendship, we might feel that our friend is more successful than we are because they have qualities we don't possess. Identifying the source of your jealousy and then rationalizing your way to a healthy coping mechanism can help you get over the green eyed monster.
3) Stop comparing yourself to others. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Everything that seems great for your friend on the outside may not reflect the turmoil they are experiencing on the inside. Don't worry about what other people have going for themselves, focus on the gifts you have to offer the world.
4) Get on your damn job. In Jennifer Hudson's song, 'Spotlight,' she sings about a man who is jealous of other men and tries to control her, because he isn't treating her right. Rather than barking at every person who might be a better fit for your mate, why not just treat your partner better in the first place? If you are doing your job, then you won't have nearly as much to worry about. When it comes to being jealous of a successful friend, your jealousy is probably reflective of the fact that you are not doing what you know you need to do. Instead of getting mad at your friend or your rival for being successful, get your mind right and get your game tight.
In the episode of Financial Lovemaking below, S. Tia Brown and I discuss the "Crazy Glue Genitalia" incident, as well as the effects of jealousy on our relationships and how it can ruin your financial future. Click below to listen!
Dr Boyce Watkins is a finance professor at Syracuse University. He does regular commentary in national media, including CNN, MSNBC, BET and more. To have Boyce's commentary delivered directly to your e-mail, please click here.

Comments: (37)
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By: Tamara Coleman on 8/15/2009 3:51AM
It's simple men if you don't want a relationship with a woman, then you should only sleep with her once. If you are sleeping with her on a regular basis, you are in a relationship. I'LL REPEAT IF YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!There is no such thing as "friends with benefits" that's some crap men come up with to play us. And when you get caught sleeping with someone else alot of us will do what it takes to make you pay.So if you don't want your cars and other property vandalized or destroyed, then you shouldn't be sleeping with several women on a regular basis you don't want a relationship with. That's why brother's have some many children out of wedlock. Because you may think you're being slick, but y'all don't look slick in family court when you get your salary garnished and every license you hold gets suspended (in NY anyway). All the drama between men and women can be abolished with that simple rule. And please with the "she new he was doing this and that, whatever! All most women know for sure is that he's with me on a regular basis and getting sex. Therefore, there shouldn't be no other woman around, especially because since he's around me so much that I don't have the time to find another man. So please take this advice stop being a cheapskate you want easy sex whenever, then take your lazy butt to the streets or something like craigslist and get yourself a hooker or escort. That way everybody knows exactly what their getting. But if you think you going to get sex with no strings attached, you got another thing coming. And to the Ladies get as much revenge as you can without going to jail. You make him feel as stupid as he made you feel.
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By: tara on 8/16/2009 9:27AM
that's what he gets for playing games ! men need to learn , if they want to play stay single....
i'd do they same thing if i caught my husband cheating, but i'd glue his member to his Ba@#% instead....lol
high five ladies !!!
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By: Roy on 8/17/2009 12:33PM
They fixed "Him" NOW THEIR LIVES ARE RUINED!AND HE WILL BE HAVING SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN WHILE THEY ARE BEING HARASSED BY BULL DIKES!
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By: Calela on 8/23/2009 7:59PM
LIKE SUCKS, PEOPLE SUCK, MEN SUCK, RELATIONSHIPS SUCK. I HATE THAT MY MARRIED EX, YES I SAID MARRIED. WE STARTED SEEING EACH OTHER BEFORE THE KNEW THE BITCH, AND AGAIN TWO YEARS LATER. AFTER GOING OUT HE TELLS ME HE'S MARRIED. MY LIFE HAS NOT BEEN THE SAME SINCE WE BROKE UP IN DECEMBER OF 2005. I GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT, I USED TO BE CUTE AND SKINNY. NOW I JUST THINK OF HIM ALL OF THE TIME. I'LL NEVER MEET ANYONE ELSE I WANT TO BE WITH. I'M NOT NICE ANYMORE, I HATE EVERYTHING. I WISH I COULD BLEEP THAT BITCH FOR RUINING MY LIFE, STEALING MY MAN. I DON'T CARE WHAT COMMENTS YOU ASSES MAKE, I'M JUST VENTING WON'T SEE THEM. EVERYONE CAN KISS MY ASS, I HATE THIS WORLD AND EVERYONE IN IT.
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By: Lanee on 8/23/2009 8:34PM
I ONCE HEARD OF A WIFE KRAZY GLUING HER HUSBANDS HANDS TO HIS PENIS BECAUSE HE WAS CHEATING! GOOD! MEN DESERVE WHAT THEY GET DESERVE! THEY'RE ALWAYS PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS, LYING TO YOU, PLAYING GAMES, CHEATING, BUT THEN WHEN YOU RUN THEM OVER, GLUE THEIR PENIS TO THEIR STOMACH, CUT IT OFF, ETC., THEN IT'S A PROBLEM. NO! IT'S A PROBLEM WHEN YOU START STICKING YOUR D--- EVERYWHERE. THAT'S ALL THEY THINK ABOUT, EVEN A LIMP D--- WON'T STOP THEM, BELIEVE ME, THEY STILL TRY TO SHOVE IT IN, THINKING THEY'RE DOING SOMETHING. THEN ARE UPSET WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED ONCE YOU FIND OUT THEY'RE LIMP, THEN CLAIM THEY DON'T HAVE E.D.(THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WEAR IT OUT) AND WOMEN ARE CRAZY. LOL.
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By: Darryl on 9/11/2009 2:12PM
Oh, please men don't CHEAT to meet any basic needs. Don't blame the partner in the relationship for the loose morals of the Cheater. Men Cheat Because They Can, Women too.
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By: SomeGuy on 11/02/2009 9:04PM
If a man cheats he is a dog but if a woman cheats then she is not getting what she needs at home. Gimmie a fuckin break. Some of women who posted her need some MAN to super glue your vaginas shut. Now that would be hilarious.
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