
NBA Star Lamar Odom has decided to marry Khloe Kardashian, whose sister Kim usually takes up all the family spotlight. The story goes that Khloe was hosting a "Welcome to LA Party" for new Laker, Ron Artest. Khloe allegedly ran the bill up to $3,000 and Lamar agreed to pay it. Could four weeks of love be built on a more stable foundation than money? The wedding ceremony was, in many ways, a fairytale: Celebrities everywhere, a triple arch of white roses, a serenade by the singer Babyface taking place at a private home in Beverly Hills. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air would be proud.
But after the last piece of cake has been eaten and the wild honeymoon lovemaking is over, Lamar and Khloe then have to confront the reality of their choice. Based on what I've read, I'd be willing to bet a pair of Air Jordans that their marriage doesn't last 3 years. I'd hate to rain on anyone's romantic parade, but we've got to be honest when it comes to hasty decisions like this one. Rather than simply being amused by their experience, perhaps we can also learn from it.
Here are some questions I'd love to ask Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian:
1) You've been dating for just a month? Are you serious? Love is a tricky thing. Most of us have been fooled by the first few weeks of a new relationship, thinking that Mr/Mrs. Right Now was Mr./Mrs. Now and Forever. There is scientific evidence that the chemical reactions in your brain during the lovemaking process are similar to mild injections of cocaine, which explains irrational behavior during the beginning and end of relationships. I don't doubt that Lamar and Khloe are in love, but most of us know that the first month of a relationship makes it difficult to distinguish between being "in love" and being "in lust." Why sign a legal contract until you're completely sure?
2) What's up with the prenup? You DO have a prenup don't you? I can define the word "prenup" with the following sentence: Four years, $32 million dollars. Yes, that's the size of Lamar's latest contract with the Lakers, and the reason I hope this 29-year old has protected his assets. Sure, Khloe's family isn't struggling either, but I presume that Lamar has taken the time to protect his wealth. If he hasn't, then he deserves whatever happens as a consequence.
3) Baby rumors anyone? After hearing that Khloe might be pregnant, some of this started to make sense. I presume that the baby belongs to Lamar, since Khloe doesn't exactly look like she's been carrying anybody's baby for longer than a month. Lamar also has some baby mama drama of his own, with the children he created in a prior marriage. If you ever want a recipe for massive financial strain, try getting married too quickly and having a bunch of children in the process. It takes a few minutes to make a baby, but the child support can last a lifetime. We might be tempted to think that Lamar's massive wealth makes child support a breeze, but the problem is that the more you earn, the more they make you pay. There's nothing more difficult than being an ex-NBA player still paying NBA-level child support.
4) What about your other kids Mr. Odom? When asked about the wedding, Liza Morales, Lamar's ex-wife, sounded as if she were trying to survive a terrorist attack or a death in the family. According to TMZ, Odom's ex-wife had this to say:
"Yes, the circumstances over the last few weeks have been upsetting but none of my actions publicly or from the privacy of my home could be classified as a meltdown. I have maintained a brave face for my children who are my main concern and I remain strong for them." She went on to say she has "the support of my family and friends and Lamar's family have been nothing but supportive of me and the kids during this difficult time. I wish Lamar nothing but happiness we all deserve to be happy."
What's also interesting is that Lamar's other kids didn't come to the wedding. I wonder if Khloe can smell the ensuing drama?
OK, now that we've used Lamar and Khloe's situation as our case study on how NOT to make major life choices, let's find our true teachable moments (you know I don't just do celebrity stuff unless there is a lesson in there somewhere):
The bottom line is this: Marriage is a serious decision, not something that should leave you focused on the elegance of the ceremony or the romance of being able to pick out bridal gowns. Some of us get so excited about the idea of having marital legitimacy that we forget the fundamental truth that LOVING together means LIVING together. If you haven't known someone long enough to be sure you can live with them, then you probably don't know if you can ever truly love them.
Secondly, we must be aware of the drug of lust, in which the chemical highs of sex can lead us to make damaging life choices. Many a celebrity has been left financially devastated by poor relationship choices in their 20s and 30s. Finally, if people have lives as complicated as Khloe and Lamar, at least a year of study is necessary to figure out if they can cope with all the complex externalities of each other's personal life: baby mama drama, professional issues, addictions, financial habits, etc. If you marry someone after a month and find out later that they have serious problems you can't deal with, you only have yourself to blame.
This is not just a lesson for Khloe and Lamar, but a lesson for all of us. If you claim that you never made mistakes when you were young and in love, then you are probably just a big ol liar.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of "Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good." To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.
Comments: (28)
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By: deb on 9/30/2009 6:29PM
He looks like a black Freddy Kruger. It probably won't last. It was too quick.
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By: Mrs. Jackson on 9/30/2009 9:26PM
Eric types what he does to get a rise out of readers and although stupid, it's apparently effective. Eric, actually the fact that BW are even in the baby mama category is by and large due to the incompetence, inferiority thinking and "triflingness" of black men who knock them up without even so much as "wifing" them first. You are so sadly mistaken if you think the BW alone is responsible for this. And while having babies out of wedlock is certainly not only relegated to the black community, we are on a black board and I will keep my comment geared toward us, the most powerful, beautiful women on this planet, Black Women, reign supreme! Look at Lamar, then Khloe, NO beauty contests are going to be won here. Although it's true, ANYONE can fall in love with ANYONE. We are not to judge true love but don't bash me and my kind to make yourself feel superior. If you want to date white women, have a field day, but again I say, don't do it to spite black women because then, you only make yourself appear to be what you truly are, and that's insecure and broken.
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By: Jerkman4 on 10/02/2009 6:51PM
AAYYYEEEE. . . . EVERYBODY GOT THE FRESH CREW RIGGHHH???
YEAH, THE ONLY WAY TO WE ALL GONE KNOW WHO REALLY SUCKS IS AT THE "GETOFF" ON WWW.SICKNJERK.COM THE ONLY OFFICIAL JERK SITE ON THE NET WHERE YOU CAN BATTLE VIDEO VS. VIDEO AND WINNER MAKES $$$$$$$$
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By: Selena on 10/03/2009 1:03AM
Did not receive a confirmation email after submitting my comment
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By: TLA on 10/03/2009 10:30AM
Everytime I see one of these hollywood or Entertainment marriages... I can't help but remember a quote I once read... but at the time did not believe to be authentic:
"...We will aid the Blacks to rise to prominence in every walk of life and in the world of
sports and entertainment. With this prestige,, the Negro will be able to intermarry with
the whites and will begin the process which will deliver America to our cause." (Jewish
Playwright Israel Cohen, A Radical Program For The Twentieth Century. Also entered
into the Congressional Record on June 7, 1957, by Rep. Thomas Abernathy).
The more of these mainstream media mixed marriages I see... the more I really start to wonder...
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By: sue on 10/03/2009 10:58AM
To all the black men and woman that love themselves from head to toe regardless of what blks go through in this sadistic world,and no matter what hardships we sometimes go through as well,Eric is mentally sick, and full of blk self hate for himself and his own, he suffers from mental slavery syndrome like the majority of blk men does in todays world.
Poor twisted conditioned brain Eric thinks by putting white woman,and all other non blk woman up on a pedestal, including running from himself as a blk male because he hates what he sees, that its gonna make him feel better about himself and get respected from others. (not) He's just a self hateful blk r#cist against his own woman. (black)
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By: dcmediagirl on 10/03/2009 6:43PM
You give this "marriage" 3 years? You're a very optimistic man..
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By: Amy on 10/05/2009 4:17PM
Hello have you forgot about her big sister! Baby mama! There are plenty white baby mama's out there! And the only reason b/m don't marry b/w is because black women don't put up with all that bull s**t that w/w do!
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