By Boyce Watkins, PhD on Jan 28th 2010 10:23AM
In this episode of
Financial Lovemaking, S. Tia Brown and I explore the following question: Is it right to put your lover on blast in public when you feel that they've disappointed you? Well, that's exactly what happened recently, when Oracle's co-president Chuck Phillips and his ex-girlfriend YaVaughnie Wilkins got into it. Phillips, who is now working to reconcile with his wife, got a surprise when Wilkins put "soul mates forever" pictures of her and Phillips on billboards in Times Square in New York (where Phillips has an apartment), Atlanta (where his wife and son reside) and San Francisco (near Oracle, where Phillips works and also where he bought his former mistress an $11 million dollar home from which she has allegedly been evicted).
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Recording artist/actress Mary J. Blige attends the ESSENCE Black Women in Music event at the Sunset Tower Hotel on January 27, 2010 in West Hollywood, California.
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Recording artist/actress Mary J. Blige attends the ESSENCE Black Women in Music event at the Sunset Tower Hotel on January 27, 2010 in West Hollywood, California.
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Kanye West and Amber Rose arrive at the Chanel Haute-Couture show as part of the Paris Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2010 at Pavillon Cambon Capucines on January 26, 2010 in Paris, France.
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Monday January 25, 2010: Dax Shepard and Joy Bryant chat before leaving the set of TV series 'Parenthood.' The two enjoyed a laugh, with Shepard holding onto what looks like his call sheet for the day.
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Kanye West and Amber Rose at the Dior Homme fashion show during Paris Menswear Fashion Week at Palais Omnisports de Bercy in Paris, France on January 23, 2010.
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Mariah Carey performs at Hard Rock Live! in the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino on January 21, 2010 in Hollywood, Florida.
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Kanye West and girlfriend Amber Rose took a stroll through Paris, France on January 21, 2010. Kanye and Amber sported long fur coats on their way to the Louis Vuitton fashion show during Paris Menswear Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2010 at Le 104.
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Tracy Morgan gives a salute as he prepares to depart LAX on January 24, 2010.
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Top celebrities like Amber Rose show off their over the top fashions in Paris, France on on January 21, 2010 during Paris Menswear Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2010.
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Rihanna makes a guest appearance on Norwegian TV show 'Skavlan' on January 21, 2010 in Oslo, Norway.
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Actress Zoe Saldana star of the new film "Avatar", is spotted trying to stay dry under her multi-colored umbrella while going to a meeting in Hollywood on Wednesday January 20, 2010.
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When considering what happened to Phillips, the question is whether or not Wilkins was right to engage in this kind of behavior. If the situation were reversed and Phillips had taken nude pictures or videos of Wilkins and put them on the Internet, would that have been right? When is this kind of behavior justified or is it simply vindictive?
In the episode of Financial Lovemaking below, we explore all of these possibilities. Enjoy!
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
Comments: (26)
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By: msreeree on 1/28/2010 11:10AM
hold up she was wrong thats the risk you take when you date have sex with a married man. she knew he was married and when he decided to end things with this you post billboard ads near his home and job for his wife plus his son and his employer to see. if this was the other way around everybody would have been crying foul... She was dead for this.
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By: cw210441 on 1/29/2010 2:18AM
Are you saying that Phillip didn't know that he was married when he got involved with his Mistress?Apparently, Mr. Phillip has never watched a movie on fatal attraction or faithful attraction. You play with fire knowing that you are married when you become invloved with other women/men, you deserve what you get in the end for being unfaithful.
Rissa
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By: Sheryl on 2/01/2010 3:02PM
They are both stupid, and whether she knew or not, not only did she put him on blast, she put her business in the streets. If she knew he was married, then she is stupid for wanting to be a 'runner-up', and if she didn't know and found out, all she had to do was kick him to the curb. With that billboard, she is telling the world how stupid or gulliable she was.
He is stupid for not keeping his pants zipped and concentrating on his wife and son. Did he not see 'Fatal Attraction'? If his wife gives him another chance....he would want to take it, and keep "it" in his pants. The next woman, just might take his life or worse....try to take the lives of his family.
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By: Jan Harris on 1/28/2010 7:01PM
He's stupid and she's an idiot! A woman scorn is dangerous. I know he is glad he did not leave his wife for that fool, spending that kind of money because hs played her.
Wake up women, leave married men alone, get your own.
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By: Kiki on 1/28/2010 11:53AM
Sorry Dr. Watkins,
The mistress' responsibility is NOT to his wife. He was the one that said I DO to her.
He didn't have to evict his mistress either!! Talk about vindictive. He just got what he was dealt.
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By: 40 Shorty on 1/30/2010 3:35AM
u soo right....they always wanna blame the woman, blame urself, u know u had a wife...whats wrong she not pleasing u in bed....no let me guess, after the kids the romance was gone...lol..she got u..u lucky it was'nt me..that bill board was'nt shit.
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By: W on 1/30/2010 1:02PM
KiKi we did care about our sister maybe then and only then can we stop married men for seeking other women.. Just say for instead that a woman say's to herself you know it's morally corrupted to lay down with another woman's husband and I just refuse to do such in front of GOD. I think this would curve some actitivity for some folks. But if we know this man is married and decided since he doesn't want me any longer I will destroy him well guess what you are not only destroying this man you are destroying this family or what we suspect was his family and children and wives are innocent when some triflin woman decides it's ok sleep with somebody's husband. Yes this man is wrong no doubt but to only blame him is just silly. If she didn't participate guess this would have never happened to her maybe someone other woman but not her. The fact that she slept with a married man she would have took that to her grave.
if this was the wrong man that she decided to ruin this witch could be in her grave so it works both ways if women keep their legs closed to marry men they wouldn't have to go down to such a low level.
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By: linda on 1/28/2010 1:32PM
I would like your input on the death of Michael Jackson. Because I thing he could have been helped if someone outside of the public eye would have got to him.I think the Doctors did more harm then help him. All of them not just one all that gave him the meds.
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By: Phone on 1/30/2010 9:01PM
People did try to get to Michael. He chose his friends by what they could do for him as far as supply him with what he wanted. A few people have said that they tried to steer him in another direction and when that happened, he distanced himself from them.
He shut his family out because he didn't want any advice from them. When a person is on the road to destruction, there's usually no way to circumvent it. It just has to play itself out.
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By: Stilllove on 1/28/2010 12:36PM
She was absolutely wrong and crazy. She was screwing somebody else's husband, she had no business doing that in the first place so she was a part of the scorn and then she was scorned, so whatever, nobody gives a crap.
I think you're comparing apples and oranges though when you compare her putting up that billboard to someone else putting nude pictures on the internet. So I won't even address that.
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