Okay, here's my dirty little secret: I love watching BET's reality series 'Tiny & Toya.' When I first saw the show's promos, I was about as excited as a truant expecting her report card -- I wasn't expecting much. In fact, I was disappointed with the network for putting out more of the same. The teasers screamed cliche. Gucci bag on elbow? Check. Lips gloss by MAC? Yep. Country grammar. Oh yeah.
Finally, one day when my couch held me hostage and I ended up watching several episodes of the series, I was hooked. I won't lie, the show is replete with stereotypical depictions of black women that make the HBCU grad in me quiver, and still there are some redeeming qualities. The ladies are fiercely loyal friends. These women are devoted mothers, sisters and daughters. Lastly, both are determined to pursue their passion despite having a well-to-do partner and former spouse.
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Reality Bites
Sharisse "Shar" Jackson
Affiliation: 'Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp' on VH1
Side note: Though some may remember her as the sidekick Niecy Jackson on the groundbreaking UPN sitcom 'Moesha,' Jackson gained international tabloid attention as the mother of two children with Kevin Federline (who was married to pop superstar Britney Spears for three years). All together, she has four children.
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Reality Bites
Sharisse "Shar" Jackson
Affiliation: 'Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp' on VH1
Side note: Though some may remember her as the sidekick Niecy Jackson on the groundbreaking UPN sitcom 'Moesha,' Jackson gained international tabloid attention as the mother of two children with Kevin Federline (who was married to pop superstar Britney Spears for three years). All together, she has four children.
Reality Bites
Fantasia Barrino
Affiliation: 'Fantasia For Real' on VH1
Side note: The 'American Idol' champion (2005) is a best-selling author ('Life is Not a Fairytale') and garnered critical acclaim as Miss Celie in the Broadway musical 'The Color Purple.'
Reality Bites
Nene Leakes
Affiliation: 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' on Bravo
Side note: The brazen Queens, NY native is a domestic abuse survivor and a former stripper – all revelations she detailed in her 2009 memoir 'Never Make the Same Mistake Twice.'
Reality Bites
Terrell Owens
Affiliation: 'The T.O. Show' on VH1
Side note: Alabama's very own football star simply known as "T.O." -- literally let it all hang out for the photo shoot promoting his new reality series, in July 2009. The show revolves around his life off the field as he searches for love, repair family relationships and make the move from Dallas to Buffalo.
Reality Bites
Ray Cunningham
Affiliation: 'College Hill: Virginia State University' on BET
Side note: One of the more memorable characters from the Black Entertainment Television network reality ranks, Cunningham has become an openly gay LGBT advocate, budding actor and busy blogger, who was featured in Adam Bouska's groundbreaking NoH8 Campaign, which assembled California notables responding to the state's Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage. Cunningham was also cast in acclaimed filmmaker Maurice Jamal's new forthcoming TV project 'Friends and Lovers.'
Reality Bites
Miss New York
Affiliation:'Flavor of Love' and 'I Love New York' on VH1
Side note: The upstate New York drama queen competed for hip-hop hype-man Flavor Flav's love twice and was rejected both times.
Reality Bites
MC Hammer
Affiliation: 'Hammertime' on A&E
Side note: Stanley Kirk Burrell seems to have done it all: Joined the navy; won Grammy Awards; danced for KFC popcorn chicken; fathered six children; wiggled his manhood in a Speedo bikini on a music video; went bankrupt; became a preacher; and now doing reality TV. 'Hammertime' is a look inside the family life of the man formerly known as one of the riches entertainers of his era.
Reality Bites
Keyshia Cole
Affiliation: 'The Way It Is' on BET
Side note: In an interview, thuggish ruggish rap icon Young Jeezy claimed that the hip-hop soul songstress asked him to marry her but he turned her down.
Reality Bites
Mo'Nique
Affiliation: 'Charm School' on VH1
Side note: While promoting the movie 'Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins,' Mo'Nique told Oprah Winfrey that co-star Martin Lawrence once gave her invaluable advice about show business.
Reality Bites
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth
Affiliation: 'The Apprentice' on NBC and 'The Surreal Life' on VH1
Side note:The former White House staffer proudly became the superbitch of reality TV.
Reality Bites
Tameka "Tiny" Cottle, 35, is a member of the '90s R&B group Xscape and has two children with rapper T.I., who doesn't want her to return to the entertainment industry. Over the course of the last two seasons, we've watched her struggle to open up a nail salon -- despite having ample funds to do so. Antonia "Toya" Carter, 26, was married to rap star Lil Wayne, her teenage sweetheart. The couple had a daughter as teens and while Wayne focused on his career, his ex raised their daughter. The series follows Toya as she tries to determine what her own career path will be.
While many girls dream of being taken care of by a real-life Prince Charming, these women show the downside. Boredom, being controlled and unfulfilled are also part of being a kept woman. There's nothing like having your own.
Here are three noteworthy lessons -- aside from marrying -- on how to get your own in life:
1. Money isn't enough – You still have to put in the work to get the results. For example, Tiny let her nail shop sit unoccupied for months before making a move.
2. Have a plan – Ambition is great, but you must also have a focused plan to execute. Whether you're trying to write a book, like Toya, or start a service business, like Tiny, you have to set goals and stay on target.
3. Surround yourself with supportive friends – A great circle of pals will not only help you stay on task, they'll pitch in, with funds or sweat equity, when the chips are down, which is priceless.
Here's to Tiny and Toya. They may not be the new Ms. Independents, but they're definitely working toward getting their own.
A trained life coach,
S. Tia Brown has spent the last 10 years following her passion for journalism as an editor, writer and TV correspondent. Brown has worked for CNN, E!, MSNBC, the New York Daily News, Essence and Black Enterprise. Most recently she served as senior editor for In Touch Weekly magazine. Check out her advice column Do Better, Be Better at
www.tiabrown.com.
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Comments: (14)
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By: charles on 5/28/2010 12:36AM
How much did they pay you for this ?
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By: Spanky on 5/28/2010 12:57AM
Oh Pleazeeeee, spare me! It MUST be a slow day.
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By: scott summers on 5/28/2010 1:31AM
Who The F@#k are these people???????????????????????????????????
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By: ooozzzzz on 5/28/2010 6:02AM
The title "What 'Tiny & Toya' Can Teach Us About Women and Business" should be renamed "Tiny & Toy" Two Women in Business Who Don't Know What in the Fyck They Are Doing".
These two women are simply clueless, dense, lazy uneducated fools who, just like a lot of rich women in this country (Black, White, whatever), who married rich and famous men strictly for the money and their only real asset in life for these two is that they purposely gave up the blowj*b & sex, got pregeant, hung around & married rich and famous rappers who are totally responsible for their upkeep & livelihood who otherwise they would not even consider marrying if these guys were broke.
This is the only business that they know. How to use and take advantage of men.
These two were just groupies who got lucky.
If it wasn't for that luck, both of them would be working the drive-thru or the fryer station at McDonalds while giving grief to some 9 to 5 brother for child support and hustling food stamps.
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By: Leah on 5/28/2010 11:45PM
I normally find your posts to be intelligent and insightful, but you are way off about these women.
Toya and Wayne were childhood sweethearts who later married. She had his child when was she 14!
Tiny had a life and success in her own right since she a was a teenager. She was a member of the group Xscape and is a Grammy winning song writer. This was before TI. TI pursued her and they have been a couple before his fame.
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By: Sincere StreetPoet on 5/28/2010 7:49AM
You obviously don't know their back story. Tiny met T.I. when SHE was on top of the world with X-scape, and co-writting #1 songs("no scrubs by TLC,etc) and he was a struggling artist. His first album FLOPPED.How was she to know the tables would turn for the better with his career? Lil Wayne and Toya were like 14 or 15 when they had a child together. How would/could she have known how succesful he was gonna become later on in life?
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By: oooozzzzz on 5/29/2010 12:17AM
AS I said: They are just lucky?
Toya? The group X-scape? One-hit wonders with no credible long term career to speak of and after their hit singles, with no major money and as usual, get with a well-to-do brother and jump on the gravy train just like a lot of female artists and movie stars (Kelis, Nas's ex) & Lela Rochon of the movie "Waiting To Exhale who married director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) since both their careers have run completely dry with no hit CD's or major movie roles.
So to stay revelant, find and marry the big money.
Ladies, y'all know how y'all do.
There are a more than plenty of female Hollywood flame-outs who had a career and no longer have a career or future in the business (and no money) and in order to get that paper or live the Hollywood rich & famous lifestyle, hurry up, hook up and be the first in line to snatch and marry the rich guys so you don't have to work anymore, just drop those babies and when it's time, file for divorce just like Kelis did (who only had a one hit wonder "Milkshake") from Nas and take all his money.
Where would Kelis be without marrying Nas and divorcing him? Back home and a after thought.
Ain't bringin' no money to the house but spends all the money in the house.
They come to Hollywood to live their dreams and end up doing what, stalking & taking that dream away from someone else so that they don't have to work or leech off their husbands life styles or ex-husbands to create reality shows.
As Richard Pryor said,"she ain't told nary joke on stage"!
So forget the back story. These blood sucking parasites and the ones who scheme & hustle like that, they ought to be ashamed.
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By: Patty on 5/28/2010 12:44PM
Tiny is by far the ugliest woman I have ever seen, All the weave, fingernails and clothes cannot make this woman attractive at all. You can tell TI is a straight up bama who lucked up with rapping. Tiny must be doing some freaky stuff for him because she is butt ugly. And she is so country. I watched the show one time and laughed by azz off. This woman has lucked up big time. But she appears to be high all the time. OMG Who is making these nobodies famous.
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By: Michelle on 5/29/2010 5:40PM
The only thing that I can learn from 'Tiny' and from 'Toya' is to take advantage of every day and of every gift that I would receive...meaning: If I was in either Toya or Tiny's shoes, every time my man would give me a cash gift, I would save the majority of it for a 'rainy day' (i.e. the day where we part ways and I am living in a two-story walk up). Rather than beg my man to give me some cash, so I could go shopping at Hermes, I would ask him to pay my college tuition. If my man wants to buy me jewelry from Tiffanys, I would keep those pieces in safe keeping, so if push comes to shove, I can sell those pieces.
But, hey, that's just me.
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By: tmf on 5/31/2010 8:56AM
What can they teach us? THE VALUE OF AN EDUCATION. THE VALUE OF GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS. THE VALUE OF HAVING SOUND JUDGEMENT AND THE WISDOM TO USE IT (IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE IT). THE WISDOM NOT TO CARRY UNREGISTERED FIREARMS IN YOUR VEHICLE WITH YOUR BABIES DADDY.
THESE TWO ARE THE GHETTO UNDERBELLY OF REALITY TV. BET IS A JOKE.
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