Okay, here's my dirty little secret: I love watching BET's reality series 'Tiny & Toya.' When I first saw the show's promos, I was about as excited as a truant expecting her report card -- I wasn't expecting much. In fact, I was disappointed with the network for putting out more of the same. The teasers screamed cliche. Gucci bag on elbow? Check. Lips gloss by MAC? Yep. Country grammar. Oh yeah.
Finally, one day when my couch held me hostage and I ended up watching several episodes of the series, I was hooked. I won't lie, the show is replete with stereotypical depictions of black women that make the HBCU grad in me quiver, and still there are some redeeming qualities. The ladies are fiercely loyal friends. These women are devoted mothers, sisters and daughters. Lastly, both are determined to pursue their passion despite having a well-to-do partner and former spouse.
http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes=uiConfig,feedConfig,entry&id=887334&pid=887333&uts=1274997631
http://cdn.channel.aol.com/cs_feed_v1_6/csfeedwrapper.swf
Reality Bites
Sharisse "Shar" Jackson
Affiliation: 'Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp' on VH1
Side note: Though some may remember her as the sidekick Niecy Jackson on the groundbreaking UPN sitcom 'Moesha,' Jackson gained international tabloid attention as the mother of two children with Kevin Federline (who was married to pop superstar Britney Spears for three years). All together, she has four children.
Getty Images
BlackVoices.com
Reality Bites
Sharisse "Shar" Jackson
Affiliation: 'Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp' on VH1
Side note: Though some may remember her as the sidekick Niecy Jackson on the groundbreaking UPN sitcom 'Moesha,' Jackson gained international tabloid attention as the mother of two children with Kevin Federline (who was married to pop superstar Britney Spears for three years). All together, she has four children.
Reality Bites
Fantasia Barrino
Affiliation: 'Fantasia For Real' on VH1
Side note: The 'American Idol' champion (2005) is a best-selling author ('Life is Not a Fairytale') and garnered critical acclaim as Miss Celie in the Broadway musical 'The Color Purple.'
Reality Bites
Nene Leakes
Affiliation: 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' on Bravo
Side note: The brazen Queens, NY native is a domestic abuse survivor and a former stripper – all revelations she detailed in her 2009 memoir 'Never Make the Same Mistake Twice.'
Reality Bites
Terrell Owens
Affiliation: 'The T.O. Show' on VH1
Side note: Alabama's very own football star simply known as "T.O." -- literally let it all hang out for the photo shoot promoting his new reality series, in July 2009. The show revolves around his life off the field as he searches for love, repair family relationships and make the move from Dallas to Buffalo.
Reality Bites
Ray Cunningham
Affiliation: 'College Hill: Virginia State University' on BET
Side note: One of the more memorable characters from the Black Entertainment Television network reality ranks, Cunningham has become an openly gay LGBT advocate, budding actor and busy blogger, who was featured in Adam Bouska's groundbreaking NoH8 Campaign, which assembled California notables responding to the state's Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage. Cunningham was also cast in acclaimed filmmaker Maurice Jamal's new forthcoming TV project 'Friends and Lovers.'
Reality Bites
Miss New York
Affiliation:'Flavor of Love' and 'I Love New York' on VH1
Side note: The upstate New York drama queen competed for hip-hop hype-man Flavor Flav's love twice and was rejected both times.
Reality Bites
MC Hammer
Affiliation: 'Hammertime' on A&E
Side note: Stanley Kirk Burrell seems to have done it all: Joined the navy; won Grammy Awards; danced for KFC popcorn chicken; fathered six children; wiggled his manhood in a Speedo bikini on a music video; went bankrupt; became a preacher; and now doing reality TV. 'Hammertime' is a look inside the family life of the man formerly known as one of the riches entertainers of his era.
Reality Bites
Keyshia Cole
Affiliation: 'The Way It Is' on BET
Side note: In an interview, thuggish ruggish rap icon Young Jeezy claimed that the hip-hop soul songstress asked him to marry her but he turned her down.
Reality Bites
Mo'Nique
Affiliation: 'Charm School' on VH1
Side note: While promoting the movie 'Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins,' Mo'Nique told Oprah Winfrey that co-star Martin Lawrence once gave her invaluable advice about show business.
Reality Bites
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth
Affiliation: 'The Apprentice' on NBC and 'The Surreal Life' on VH1
Side note:The former White House staffer proudly became the superbitch of reality TV.
Reality Bites
Tameka "Tiny" Cottle, 35, is a member of the '90s R&B group Xscape and has two children with rapper T.I., who doesn't want her to return to the entertainment industry. Over the course of the last two seasons, we've watched her struggle to open up a nail salon -- despite having ample funds to do so. Antonia "Toya" Carter, 26, was married to rap star Lil Wayne, her teenage sweetheart. The couple had a daughter as teens and while Wayne focused on his career, his ex raised their daughter. The series follows Toya as she tries to determine what her own career path will be.
While many girls dream of being taken care of by a real-life Prince Charming, these women show the downside. Boredom, being controlled and unfulfilled are also part of being a kept woman. There's nothing like having your own.
Here are three noteworthy lessons -- aside from marrying -- on how to get your own in life:
1. Money isn't enough – You still have to put in the work to get the results. For example, Tiny let her nail shop sit unoccupied for months before making a move.
2. Have a plan – Ambition is great, but you must also have a focused plan to execute. Whether you're trying to write a book, like Toya, or start a service business, like Tiny, you have to set goals and stay on target.
3. Surround yourself with supportive friends – A great circle of pals will not only help you stay on task, they'll pitch in, with funds or sweat equity, when the chips are down, which is priceless.
Here's to Tiny and Toya. They may not be the new Ms. Independents, but they're definitely working toward getting their own.
A trained life coach,
S. Tia Brown has spent the last 10 years following her passion for journalism as an editor, writer and TV correspondent. Brown has worked for CNN, E!, MSNBC, the New York Daily News, Essence and Black Enterprise. Most recently she served as senior editor for In Touch Weekly magazine. Check out her advice column Do Better, Be Better at
www.tiabrown.com.
Breast Cancer Patient Allegedly Fired TWICE While Seeking…
Judy A. Smith: Ask Judy: 'I Didn't Go To School For This'
Comments: (14)
Add a comment
By: TMF on 5/31/2010 8:56AM
Get your head out of the sand.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Erika on 6/01/2010 3:42PM
I think it is so sad that people are so full of themselves that they can't see past Tiny and Toya's skin color and accents to see that they are actually trying to teach young women some lessons. Those lessons include the three points listed by the author.
They want young girls to see that even when it seems you have it all, you may not have anyting. Toya's ex-husband takes care of her and their child, but she is not fulfilled nor is Tiny.
They are using this show to explore who they are and to grow and they are trying to get young girls to do the same. However, people are so close-minded and so excited to pretend they are better than these ladies, that they can't learn from them. I think it's sad!!
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: sadie on 6/01/2010 6:15PM
Ms. Brown, you should be ashamed of yourself. These two women have taught me nothing other than getting knocked up by a potential rapper might get lucky and set for life. I’m happy that they’re 2 less families who aren’t struggle. But I don’t think we shouldn't be subjected to their opulent lifestyles, in which they did nothing to earn. My biggest problem is these women have not done anything positive with their ‘fame’. Are they helping to teach young sisters about the importance of education? No. Are they helping to teach young sisters about the importance of saving your money and investing in your community? No.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: michelle on 6/02/2010 10:27PM
Tia Brown should work for Fox. She is really good at putting spin on shit. Tiny & Toya are two nice ladies . They are not hurting anyone and are trying to care for their family the best they know how. Let us not get crazy though. These girls are a baby daddy away from being dumb, hot, getto mess. There is nothing to be learned from them.
Reply to this Comment | Report This