By Lawrence Watkins on Jun 4th 2010 1:28PM
Filed under: Personal Finance
If you're madly in love, money should be the last thing on your mind, right? Maybe not. One of the greatest pieces of advice that I learned from reading the book 'Financial Lovemaking 101' is that if you want to talk about love, you've got to talk about money first. Getting rid of your financial anxiety is an important part of trusting your partner.
But, what if your partner asked you to sign a prenuptial agreement? Would you feel that they don't trust you, or would you think they were being prudent? If you were the one who made the most money, would that change your point of view? After Elin Nordegren, the wife of Tiger Woods, asked for $750 million as her divorce settlement, many have reconsidered the value of a prenuptial agreement.
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Rather than fearing a prenup, some experts argue that such an agreement can keep your divorce from getting too messy. "They can be a great tool because they force couples to discuss money," says Glinda Bridgforth, author of 'Girl, Get Your Money Straight: A Sister's Guide to Healing Your Bank Account and Funding Your Dreams in 7 Simple Steps.' As the divorce between Tiger and Elin gets messier and messier, the value of their prenuptial agreement might provide some bargaining ground for them to continue negotiations.
Also, Dr. Boyce Watkins, finance professor and author of 'Financial Lovemaking 101,' says that a prenuptial agreement is not a plan for divorce, but is instead an insurance policy to make sure that the divorce happens peacefully (if at all). "The same way the government created financial reform to have an orderly process for dismantling failed banks, a prenup imposes an orderly process for dismantling failed marriages," says Dr. Watkins, who counsels couples on their financial issues. "Going through divorce without a careful plan is like dealing with the pain of death and finding out that no one made arrangements for the funeral."
According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, 50% of all first marriages, 67% of all second marriages and 74% of all third marriages end in divorce. Given that the odds are stacked against us, it might make sense to protect your assets. Whether you believe in prenuptial agreements or not, they are now a more significant part of the emotional conversation.
Would you sign a prenup? Have you signed one already? If your spouse asked you to sign a post-nuptial agreement (like a prenup, but signed after the ceremony), would you? Leave your comments below!
Lawrence Watkins is the Founder of Great Black Speakers. He is also the owner of speakers' bureaus dedicated to Hispanic speakers and Christian motivational speakers. His book, "Frame Your Future: 8 Principles to Effectively Focus on the Future and Not Dwell in the Past", will be released in August 2010. If you would like Lawrence's articles delivered directly to your email, please click here.
Comments: (9)
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By: elmiraj7 on 6/04/2010 9:30PM
As the great chilli recently said:
I have to be with somebody who is definitely down with a pre-nup. I don’t care how much money you have or don’t have; pre-nups are not for wealthy people, they’re for everybody. I’m telling you, it’s like insurance: you hope you don’t need it. Now, if you never have a divorce, you never have to deal with that. But if you do, when people go through divorces, unfortunately, it brings out the ugly in everybody… And then you want to go and suck somebody dry, whether it’s a big bank account or small.
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By: ralph on 6/05/2010 12:40PM
I beleive in prenups, because as a man I hate it just as much when a rich woman has to give her money to a broke ass man when they break up. I also DON'T beleive in the notion that when a broke person marries a rich person, then the rich person has to maintain the life that they become "used to" when the relationship ends. The adjustment period won't be that long until they get used to be broke again, so let them go back to being as broke as they were before they married a rich person. I practice what I preach, so this would go for me too.
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By: meanvee on 6/05/2010 1:06PM
I think everybody who gets married should have a pre-nup, if they make it a law there will be a whole lot less meaningless marriages, a lot of people get married because of the money potential that they will gain, pre-nups will take that out of the equation, and a lot of useless marriages won't take place.
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By: selfish people on 6/05/2010 1:26PM
This answer is based upon whether two people are being brought together by the Holy Spirit. A prenup isnt necessary when the union is blessed by the Father. Mark 10:9 'What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.' A marriage will stay together long enough to stand the test of time when the Lord is in it. On the other hand, lots of people get married, are fornicators and adulterers because of lust. The lustful will do whatever their flesh instructs them to do. This type of relationship doesnt have a sound mind or a clean heart, but a wicked spirit, so breaking up and staying together is full of the sin they bring into the marriage doing whatever is right in their own eyes. Do they need a prenup? I'm not sure but this one thing I do know, everybody needs Jesus including me!!!
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By: Mr. Jackson on 6/11/2010 6:35PM
This is true and in theory it would solve a lot of problems but it doesn't solve the reality of the world we live in today. With so many different religions and even the divide with each (specifically the way each individual chooses to practice), the sound decision would be to force a prenump. If nothing else you leave the situation how you came in, +/- what was made during the marriage. If your union truly came together under God, then you won't have to worry about what to do when its over. Consider it a "just-in-case necessity," just as with vehicle, renter's/home owner's, and now health insurance. Hope and pray that you don't need it, but if you do, then thank God that you do.
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By: kayshanda davis on 7/08/2010 3:18AM
prenups R important even if u don't HAVE money-- you can agree that any money YOU make AFTER marriage will go where YOU want it after divorce..
Anyone heard the song "Sign the Prenup" ? it's a rap song by Krs-One and Greenie -- HYSTERICAL !
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By: kayshansa davis on 7/08/2010 3:24AM
EVERYONE needs prenups; even if they're broke! You can agree what will happen w/ any money you make DURING the marriage-- FUTURE money-- in fact, since so many states let you keep your own pre*marital assets anyway-- future money you MIGHT make or WILL make is the most important reason to get one, I think !
Anyone heard the song "Sign the Prenup" by Krs-One and Greenie ? It's hysterical.. .he says "prenups are like condoms that I can use in court... so my money don't get STD'd --that's Stolen Through Divorce !"
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