A recent report in the
Wall Street Journal notes that more couples are creating prenuptial agreements before saying "I do." Because today is my three-year wedding anniversary -- yes, I was one of those countless brides who got married back on 7-7-7 -- reading this article today made me think about many realities concerning marriage and money.
I know that many people have problems with prenups. Some people say that prenups are completely unromantic. Others think that prenups reduce a personal relationship to a business agreement. Still other critics say that a prenup basically gives you an "out" from a marriage -- or that it somehow sets the relationship up for failure.
While I understand all these arguments, I still feel that creating a prenup is a smart move for many couples. Having a prenup is part of good financial planning. It also can lead to much-needed communication between partners. And prenups also foster honesty and deeper intimacy among couples.
http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes=uiConfig,feedConfig,entry&id=907462&pid=907461&uts=1278531406
http://cdn.channel.aol.com/cs_feed_v1_6/csfeedwrapper.swf
10 Ways To Avoid Being A Bridezilla
Delegate
You may think you're wonder woman but you can't do or control everything or else you'll go insane. Have faith in those closest to you like your bridesmaids, friends, family and even the groom. The more people helping out the faster things will get done. Not to mention how much smoother things will go.
Neilsen Barnard, Getty Images
AP
BlackVoices.com
Black and Green
Green in the Inner City: Majora Carter
Carter has become a green celebrity -- and improved the lives of New York denizens -- through her nonprofit, Sustainable South Bronx, which provided "green-collar" job training for the underprivileged. She now heads the Majora Carter Group, a green economic development consulting firm.
Black and Green
Green in Washington: Jerome Ringo
When Ringo was elected chair of the National Wildlife Federation in 2005, the lifelong environmentalist became the first African American to head a major conservation group. Ringo, who is a member of Newsweek's Environment and Leadership Council, is now the president of the Apollo Alliance, a coalition of labor, environmental, national security, civil rights and business leaders who promote energy independence.
Black and Green
Green in Hip-Hop: Rev. Lennox Yearwood
Hip-hop and environmentalism aren't two things that are generally associated with each other, but Yearwood is trying to change that with his organization, Hip Hop Caucus. The caucus recently announced its "Green the Block" campaign, which promotes environmental causes in the black community.
Black and Green
Green in the Kitchen: Bryant Terry
Terry, eco chef, food justice activist and author (he wrote 'Vegan Soul Kitchen: Fresh, Healthy, and Creative African-American Cuisine' and 'Grub: Ideas for an Urban Kitchen'), has dedicated his professional career to promoting a sustainable food system and shedding light on poverty as it relates to the availability of organic, healthy foods.
Black and Green
Green in the Government: Lisa P. Jackson
When President Barack Obama appointed Jackson the administrator of the United States Environmental Protection Agency, she became the first African American and the fourth woman to hold the position. She also sparked controversy among some environmentalists who didn't like her record as head of environmental protection in New Jersey. Whether you love her or hate her, she should get props for being an African American woman in a powerful -- and green -- position.
Black and Green
Green in Travel: Frank & Audrey Peterman
During a 1995 road trip, Audrey and Frank Peterman fell in love with the beauty of America's natural landmarks but were concerned that so few of their fellow travelers were people of color. The trip inspired them to create Earthwise Productions, which publishes Pick Up and Go! an environmental and travel newsletter focusing on the contributions people of color have made to our national parks.
Black and Green
>Green in Corporate America: Karen Y. Ellis
This FedEx leader isn't some corporate executive who doesn't care about the affect her company has on the environment. FedEx's carbon footprint is anything but small, but as the company's director of corporate and international environmental programs, Ellis challenges her corporation and others to be more environmentally responsible.
Black and Green
Green in Higher Ed: Michael K. Dorsey
A Dartmouth University professor and a longtime member of the Sierra Club, Dorsey's work focuses on the intersection of finance, environmental policy and social justice. He was recently granted a prestigious Ford Foundation grant to support his climate change research.
Black and Green
Green in the Black Community: Naomi Davis
Davis is a Chicago-based attorney and activist who sits at the helm of not one but two green organizations: BIG: Blacks in Green, a nonprofit promoting environmental causes in the black community, and Daughter's Trust, a green economics consulting firm.
Black and Green
Green in the White House: Van Jones
One of the most famous faces in the green movement, Jones was the founding president of Green for All, an organization dedicated to economic development of the poor through the green economy. Surprise, surprise: He's now Barack Obama's Green Jobs Czar.
Black and Green
Before my husband, Earl, and I got married, we both retained lawyers to draft a prenup. Three years later, prenup or not, we both remain deeply committed to each other and happier than ever. So if you're considering marriage, don't just automatically think that having a prenup is wrong or that it says something negative about the state of your relationship.
Each couple has to decide on this issue for themselves. And while I respect people's individual choices, as a
Money Coach, I would strongly recommend that some people think twice about a prenup.
Who should seriously consider a prenup?
- Those entering second marriages (or third or fourth marriages!)
- People who already have children
- Individuals with substantial assets or expected inheritances
- Those who expect to earn high future incomes (perhaps because they hold advanced academic degrees or have specialized career plans)
- Couples making very disparate incomes (i.e., one person earns substantially more or less than the other)
In the end, a prenup -- like any other piece of paper -- won't be the glue that holds your relationship together. Only God -- along with love, communication, and a shared commitment to one another (on matters financial and otherwise) -- will do that.
What do you think about this topic? To prenup, or not to prenup? That is the question!
Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, an award-winning financial news journalist and former Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC, has been featured in the Washington Post, USA Today, and the New York Times, as well as magazines ranging from Essence and Redbook to Black Enterprise and Smart Money. Check out her New York Times best seller
'Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom.'
Trump: I'd Let Romney 'Go At It' With Wright Attacks
Breast Cancer Patient Allegedly Fired TWICE While Seeking…
Comments: (88)
Add a comment
By: BG on 7/07/2010 5:14PM
It's simply a smart move especially now that we have many lazy ass black women like the basketball wives who wants to reap where they never sowed.
Black woman will cheat. A prenup will spell clearly what the repercussion will be. So, no drama.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: gayle on 7/08/2010 5:45PM
Reading some of the comments on the post has made me realize that we ALL are longing for something and someone. I feel bad that alot of people have had to question themselves so deep about who has been in their lives, in there lives, are now out of their lives, that they would have to second guess themself. Life is a box of chocolates! I'm not a person that practices what I preach all the time but I believe that my husband and I have a good relationship of 3yrs. 10yrs of courting lol but seriously we've never had any issues about finance's and I'll tell you why.
First off....I owned my own house when we met. Actually he bought his a year before I bought mines because at the time he couldn't make his mind up on who he wanted to be with. It was either me or his ex-wife. That's right, ex-wife. I seen the divorce paper's come in the mail but he still had feelings for her. I let him go back to her. Yeah I was upset but for a women like me with no children, good job, bought first house on my own....was the sht to me. Things had change for me and he knew that going back to his ex-wife was a mistake but I ended up moving in with him once he stopped trying to rekindle something that was gone already. We established from the get go what my responsibilites were in HIS house. We get married 3yrs later after, He said he would pay the mortage, utilities....I would pay my own way. If I wanted a new car, that's my bill not ours. I want a new hand bag, that's my bill. Credit cards is a NO, NO. You pay for your own credit cards. Guess what? I pay for my own credit cards WITHOUT his name on anything. People need to Establish the true intention FIRST. When entering into a relationship with someone, don't be afraid to tell the man or woman how you want things to be between each other. Be Blunt, Blunt!! It works...If the other person can't handle the smoke, then they need to get out the kitchen. My husband was up front from the begining in what he wanted out of our relationship. He has children, I don't biologically. But pre-nups has never been an issue for us because that's not what love is about. NO the DAMN person first. I mean NO them first!
Report This
By: KL on 7/08/2010 10:02PM
Somewhere you have your facts all wrong about black women ...there are many that are well educated and are loyal to their men. Lets set this correct...there are too many cheazzy "white" chicks that flock to black men because "white men" don't handle your business. Some of these "lazy ass white women" prey on black men once they became of celebrity status so they can benefit on profits they have not earned, look at Tiger Woods and his wife...she's far not worth 100 million dollars for a few years of marriage. Grant it he deserves to pay for his action but, they don't do nothing but "spend money they have not EARNED". Shopping, staying in tanning salons to get as close to being black as they can, because they have pale ass skin...burning there skin so much, risking getting skin cancer.
At least black women were blessed with all that white women want...we have the complexion, the thighs, the ass and black men!
Report This
By: Rita M. Hicks on 7/09/2010 1:05AM
Wow what a comment! I just want a pre-nup bcs I have struggled for many yrs as a single mom to make mortgage payments on time ..so that my house will belong to my son...not some newcomer to our (his) life. The home I nearly died for belongs to my son not any new husband!
Report This
By: Angie on 7/09/2010 6:05AM
WOW your quite ridiculous and obviously racist.
I'm a 20 yr old black woman, with a Bachelor's Degree in Accounting, pursuing my Masters.
I make my own money and will probably make more than most people. This statement you made is absolutely ridiculous...and if you haven't noticed there are MORE white women marrying NBA players for their money.
Your probably uneducated and bitter. Good luck with your life...
Report This
By: Bernie30338 on 7/14/2010 3:40PM
@BG. You have got to be kidding. As many black men that marry outside of their races,whom have substantial assets and end up with much less after divorce to those spouses.Also,with soooooo many educated black women,with careers that have substantial assets. You need to get out more and stop forming your opinion from reality t.v.
Report This
By: puhhhleasse on 7/17/2010 4:05PM
so off base.. let's talk about real women n men instead of celebrities..
Report This
By: WC on 7/16/2010 7:48PM
Actually, I am a black woman about to get married for the 2nd time and between my accounts, 3 pensions, 401k, investment properties and vacation home, I think it would be wise to ensure that my property stays in my family in the event that things don't go as planned. I think BG watches too much TV or is very young. Smart financial planning isn't just for basketball players.
Report This
By: BG on 7/07/2010 6:27PM
It's a simple smart move especially these days when you have some lazy ass black ladies like the basketball wives who wants to reap where they never sowed.
Black ladies would bring drama and cheat and a Prenup will spell out what the repercussions will be.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: B. Taylor on 7/08/2010 1:01PM
You speak of the most dramatic cases where the woman married to the rich athlete/actor/musician makes claim to his fortune after not contributing anything but her time. Fair enough. No those women SHOULD NOT be leaving a relationship with half of what her husband has earned. But by far the most common cases I've seen with black women and divorce are those hard-working women, nurses, attorneys, physicians, etc., who married men either unemployed or making substantially less than their wives. These women wind up supporting their good-for-nothing ex's. So Hell yeah! Pre-nups for all. Not just for that minute percentage of male athletes but for the majority of women getting the shaft after the divorce.
Report This