I had a friend who shall remain anonymous. Actually, this person was a very close friend, almost like family. He decided to enter into an alternative profession called "drug dealing." I didn't judge his decisions, but I had to keep away from him. As many of us know, the life and livelihood of a drug dealer are not meant to last long.

So, upon hearing the news of my friend's death (he was shot in the head in broad daylight), I was then asked to look into his financial situation. Like many other men across America, he'd lived long enough to have several kids, a few baby's mamas, a wife and a girlfriend. His "family" seemed to love him very much, given all the howling and screaming we heard at the funeral. You'd almost think that they were surprised that a notorious drug dealer was murdered, but isn't that part of the risk of the job? Don't get me wrong, for I, too, was saddened by his sudden death. But I certainly wasn't surprised when I received the phone call I'd been waiting for over the past 10 years. Really, I was only surprised that the call had not come sooner.


One would imagine that a man who went out of his way to have so many children, make so much money, engage in such a risky profession, and buy so many cars, jewels, clothes, etc. would plan for his seemingly inevitable death. Nope. There was nothing:

-No stash of money for the kids to get them through college.
-No life insurance to pay off his beneficiaries and the cost of his burial.
-No will to help his survivors determine how to distribute his assets.

All of the people who loved him in life were emotionally body slammed by the double-whammy of seeing their primary bread winner in a casket and also realizing that he'd done nothing to prepare for the day he died. I was incredibly disappointed; it's one thing for a man to engage in illegal activity, but another thing for a man to not think about his family. I was even more disappointed to see his family members scrambling to pay the costs for funeral expenses they couldn't afford.

The lesson we can all learn from my friend's untimely death is that we are all going to die (yes, I know most of us already know that, but some of us seem to forget). Death doesn't make an appointment, it doesn't care if your calendar is full, it doesn't care how many people depend on you to be alive. When it arrives, many of us have not done what we need to do to make sure that those we love are provided for in the event that we are no longer here to provide for them.

First, everyone should have an insurance policy. If your children are adults, you only need a small one. If they are young, you need one that will cover them through college and also provide for your spouse as if you were here still bringing home the bacon. Another important role of the insurance policy is to pay for your burial expenses. Don't leave these on the backs of your relatives.

Second, you should have a last will and testament, or some kind of document which describes how you'd like your estate to be divided. This ensures that your loved ones don't stop speaking to each other because they are fighting over money. It also helps to make sure that Uncle Sam and a pack of attorneys don't eat through whatever assets you leave behind.

Third, it doesn't hurt to have some money saved up. Raising your children to be independent can be a very important part of helping them into adulthood. So, even if you can't save as much as you'd hoped, you're not leaving behind adults who've become heavily dependent upon you. In fact, raising independent children can be an important part of your retirement plan: My mother has three kids who will always be willing to help supplement her income in the event that she were to ever run into financial hardship. This is the return on her investment of love and instilling (well, beating) the value of education into her kids. I'm not an advocate of beating your kids, but I have to keep it real about my parents' old school child rearing tactics.

The bottom line is this: Loving your kids means preparing for your death. Many funerals are already dramatic enough without adding financial fuel to an already chaotic fire. There is certainly life after death, but that life is going to be lived by others and impacted by the consequences of the choices you make. In fact, our entire life is nothing more than a serious of choices and consequences, so each decision we make must be carefully considered.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce's commentary delivered to your e-mail, please click here.