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I have a theory that I've wondered would hold up to empirical scrutiny. My theory is that there are quite a few women who might be willing to settle for part of a good man rather than having 100% of a mediocre man. For example, men like Tiger Woods might have more girlfriends than most of us can count, and some would wonder if any of those women expect him to be committed to just one person. Not to say that I condone one lifestyle over another, but we all know how things go down in the real world.
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Much of this theory came into play with the recent suicide attempt by the singer Fantasia, where her distress was linked to her relationship with a married man. Some might define these relationships as unholy unions between two people condemned to hell. Others might perceive them as being a realistic alternative to the grind and toil of stressful marriages. In fact, most of us know of at least one woman who only dates married men. Again, I am not here to judge, but to be realistic.
To help me sort through the issue, I brought together a group of very interesting panelists to talk about the topic: S. Tia Brown, Dr. James Wadley, China Okasi, and George James. Dr. Wadley wrote a book with a very interesting title, "Would You Marry You?" S. Tia Brown is a relationship advisor with Essence and AOL BV. China Okasi is the editor of Madame Noire, a leading publication for women of color. George James is a Family Therapist at The Council for Relationships and the CEO of George Talks, LLC. The video is above, enjoy!
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and a Scholarship in Action Resident of the Institute for Black Public Policy. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
Comments: (47)
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By: Deanna Jameson on 9/10/2010 4:23PM
In the words of Miss Sophia "Hail.Naw." That's giving men too much power, and no woman should ever be that desperate to share a man.
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By: The Truth on 9/10/2010 5:40PM
Yes those women do in fact exist, but they charge by the hour.
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By: Justifyed on 9/12/2010 9:35PM
I am too vain to share, I'm a "front burner" person... if I can't be on the front burner, I don't want to be on the stove.
Also....when you are dealing w/ someone who considers you an "option", you are opening yourself up to diseases, because you are essentially sleeping with everyone they are sleeping with and in turn everyone they are sleeping with and so on and so forth and given the number of black men who are on the down low...THAT'S NASTY!
But for those who would rather 'settle' than wait for a good man...stock up on your shots, and pills...cause you are in for the ride of your life.
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By: dvine on 9/13/2010 12:23PM
i agree.. this is the reason why men think they shouldn't have to fully commit now.. because you got low self-esteem women out there that are willing to accept everything he does and says to try to keep him..
if he feels he can have his cake and eat it to then he is obviously not the man for you.. that's why HIV, herpes, Syphilis, Gonorrhea and all that other shyt is spreading like wild-fire..
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By: The Truth on 9/10/2010 5:44PM
Those women do in fact exist. They are either desperate, have a low self-esteem or in most cases, charge by the hour.
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By: Jamall Robinson on 9/11/2010 11:52PM
If black women stop acting like their s#*t don't stank ,meet a brotha half way,and chill with the attitude maybe they'll be able to get a "full-time" man. Just keeping it real.
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By: Justifyed on 9/12/2010 9:40PM
@ Jamall... if "some" blk men would start acting like they had some dayum sense, and stop trying to be thugs and rappers, and trying to screw everything with two legs (including other men) this wouldn't be a problem.
Just keeping it real.
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By: So Sad... on 9/10/2010 5:48PM
They're called whores.
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By: Jewel on 9/10/2010 7:52PM
No offense guys, but in my opinion - no man is good enough to be shared.
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By: iketheterrible on 9/11/2010 6:08PM
I agree 100%. However, all women that don't mind sharing a 'good" man are too stupid to realize that a shared man is no longer good due to his lack of commitment. Tiger Woods was no longer a good man when he hooked up with his mistress. to use him as an example almost sounds as if his money made him a good man and we know that's not necessarily true due to the fact that there are pimps, drug dealers, and thieves with alot of money out there.
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