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However, more than one of you may be facing the consequences of the not so festive economy. Despite the fact that the National Retail Federation is predicting that holiday sales will increase 2.3% this year, its rough out there for consumers, particularly black consumers. Over at the Loop 21, they are running a series called 'The Pending Death of the Black Middle Class.' The unemployment rate for college educated blacks is twice the rate of their white counterparts. The subprime lending craze that targeted people of color has left black folks disproportionately impacted by the foreclosure wave sweeping the nation. So on top of the normal holiday anxiety caused by being in close proximity for an extended period of time with the relatives and attempting to live up to mythic expectations of Norman Rockwell holiday familial perfection, we have to worry about managing the ritualistic gift giving on tight or nonexistent budgets.
This is the part where I'm supposed to give you suggestions about awesome "recession proof" Christmas gifts for under $20 because this may be the first time in your adult life that many of you aren't able to whip out a credit card and make all of your Christmas dreams come true. For some of you, not being able to purchase whatever you want is actually a good thing.
I'm not a grinch, but for years I have set a hard cap on the amount of money I will spend on non-charitable gifts at Christmas. I started out with a $100 then I bounced it up to $150. This year I have to take it up to $200 on account of the fact that the number of children in my immediate family has doubled due to a marriage and the impending arrival of another nephew who is currently chilling out in the womb before making an arrival any day now.
How is it that I manage to only spend $100-$150 when the average American spends 20 times that much? I don't buy gifts for adults and I'm not the only one. Take this savvy holiday shopper:
"Last year marked the beginning of the shrinking gift list," Cohen said. "If you were a distant relative, you got knocked off the list." That shortened list hasn't grown back this year, he said. (CNN)With the exception of my grandmothers who have now gone on to glory, the adults in my immediate family pull names from a hat and do the Secret Santa thing. We set a monetary cap (which is $75 this year), we make our list, put the names in a hat and pull the name for one gift. That's it for my adult-related Christmas shopping. I'm done in one. If you're not part of the Secret Santa pool, I may send a Christmas card. I'll give you a call -- but you'll be getting no gifts from me.
It isn't because I'm cheap. It's because I refuse to have my kindness defined by dancing elves, plastic snowmen and fictitious holidays made up by the retail industry. Black Friday and Cyber Monday aren't really holidays no matter how many times the media tries to convince me otherwise.
After one particular Christmas that ended with post-gift opening melancholy, I realized that I wasn't buying out of generosity, but out of fear. The commercials say that if we really care, we'll spend. We'll give cars, puppies, video games, cans of roasted coffee with big red bows on top. I found myself elbowing people in the store aisles, playing parking lot death match and standing in ridiculous lines to buy stuff for grown people who have jobs. Like me, many of you are preparing to run up holiday debt AGAIN out of pure fear that the people you love won't think you care.
The truth is that most of our manic obligatory holiday purchases are just a ruse, a short cut, a crutch. Handing over a gift-wrapped box has become shorthand for "I love you." The ritualistic gift exchange absolves us of our responsibility to spend time and attention throughout the year and fulfill our obligation to be kind or attentive to those we claim to love. We shuffle over to Aunty SoandSo's house with fuzzy slippers and a bathrobe to make up for the fact that we didn't bother to call since last Christmas. Uncle Johnny get a dime store bottle of cologne because we didn't bother to ask him how he was doing. Cousin Pookie (TM Barack Obama) gets a pair of socks because we don't want to ask him why his eyes are bloodshot and his kids aren't with him this Christmas.
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Now that the economy has already devoured the already tattered financial safety net of the black middle class, many of you are facing a holiday season where debt-fueled materialistic ritualistic displays are no longer an option and you're terrified of what will happen when you no longer run around bearing gifts. The truth is that nothing is likely to happen.
At the end of the day, if someone thinks I don't love or care about them because I didn't give them a scented candle, a sweater, or those annoying fruit-infused lotions everyone shuffles around, then they probably didn't deserve a gift in the first place.
So consider this very recessionary Christmas an opportunity to liberate yourself from fear-based giving. There are many ways to express that you care during the holidays. If you're at a loss for ideas, then you are exactly the kind of person to keep your credit cards holstered this holiday season and get creative about really caring giving.
