December is right around the corner, and that means you can't walk into any retail establishment or department store without being inundated with sales offers, promotions, and other marketing gimmicks designed to get you spending for the holiday season.
Well, I don't want to squash your hunt for 2010 Black Friday deals or dampen your year-end festivities. But I would like you to think about two smart ways you can avoid overspending and debt during the holidays on Black Friday:
Use more cash than plastic
Studies show that shoppers tend to buy more than they had planned (in terms of quantity) – and to purchase higher-priced items when they use credit cards versus cash. When you have to fork over cold, hard dollars, psychologically, it makes you think about the value of your purchases Black Friday purchases.
So before you go on a gift-buying binge, hit the ATM first – armed with your budget – and take out exactly the maximum amount you've determined you can afford. Later, when you are out of cash, that's it. Leave the mall or whatever store you're in. Resist the temptation to whip out plastic to buy more stuff.
The National Retail Federation predicts that the average shopper will spend about $687 on holiday purchases in 2010, on Black Friday and beyond. About 43% of consumers will pay with debit cards; 26% will pay with cash. Both are smart choices.
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Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Accept Change
Life after a separation, divorce or death is never going to quite be the same. You now have to share your children with their other parent (or accept that the deceased parent is no longer there). This may take some time getting used to. It's best to use whatever means you have to accept this, whether that's support groups, therapy, prayer or good friends.
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Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Accept Change
Life after a separation, divorce or death is never going to quite be the same. You now have to share your children with their other parent (or accept that the deceased parent is no longer there). This may take some time getting used to. It's best to use whatever means you have to accept this, whether that's support groups, therapy, prayer or good friends.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Create New Family Traditions
For the last 10 years you have eaten Christmas brunch with your in-laws but this is no longer an option. Yet, children thrive on ritual, so it may be time to make up some new holiday traditions (i.e. going to the local Thanksgiving parade or even baking cookies after opening gifts). If your children are old enough, include their ideas in your plans.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Have Your Holiday Early
Don't have the kids for an upcoming holiday? Why not celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas or Kwanzaa a week early, complete with all the decorations, food and, yes, gifts? Invite friends, family and neighbors and do it up. No, it's not the same as the day of, but it's really about the sentiment and the company anyway.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Get Some Company
The holidays can sometimes be unbearably lonely, especially without the pitter-patter of little feet. If your ex has the children on a significant holiday, make sure you get with other folks to continue the festivities. Join your family, coworkers or friends or seek out other singletons through a single-parents group.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Speak well of your ex
Acceptance of new circumstances goes a long way, and you've got to model for your children what a mature, loving adult looks like. That means keeping your not-so-nice thoughts about your ex in check. In fact, you should encourage a good relationship and reassure your child that it's okay to accept his or her new family -- there's plenty of love to go around.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Don't spoil your children
As the non-custodial parent, it is easy to make up for lost time (and guilt) with "things." Yet the most meaningful reason for a visit with your children is to bond with them. Love don't cost a thing. Ice skating, bike riding, fishing or snuggling up and watching movies means everything in the world to children -- as long as it's with you!
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Mind your budget
With most separations, divorces or even deaths, standards of living decrease for single parents. Be mindful of your budget. This means setting up a spending plan and sticking to it during the holidays. Tried-and-true tactics like shopping for gifts off-season, comparing prices online and staying within the budget ensures that you have money for a rainy day.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Preserve relationships
If you absolutely love your father -in-law or feel closer to your ex's sister than you do to your own, maintain those relationships. Continue to invite your ex's family to significant events in your child's life like recitals and basketball games. It is great for your children to see you continue to love their family. However, do not use your relationship with your in-laws (or children for that matter) to communicate with your ex in any way.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Pick Your Battles
Suppose your ex and his new girlfriend had your 5-year-old out all day snowball fighting with that small jacket on? Or your daughter's hair wasn't quite combed the way you like it? Unless it's posing a serious threat to your child's health, it's best not to make an "issue" out of everything the other parent does. In other words, roll with the punches. It will make everyone's life a little easier -- including your child's.
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Do a Joint Holiday Event
This may take some time, and for some, it's just not feasible, but we've all heard of those families that continue to get together even after a split (hello, Bruce, Demi and Ashton!) This is probably best if each partner has moved on, and so do not attempt this unless you feel truly ready. Maybe start with a small tree trimming before going all out with a sit-down dinner. What a gift for your kids!
Single Parents Holiday Survival Guide
Don't buy gifts for everyone
Many of us have been brought up to believe that you absolutely must buy a gift for those closest to you – even if you have 7 siblings and 18 nieces and nephews.
A better strategy, especially for those with big families, is to buy a gift for the whole family. So instead of buying your sister a $60 sweater, buying her husband a $45 bottle of cologne, and spending $30 on each one of their three children, try purchasing a family pack of movie tickets for the whole gang. That'll run you $30 to $45 depending on where you live.
Or if movies aren't their thing, maybe they'd love to have a family outing to someplace cheap, such as the local zoo or a regional museum. You can usually get those tickets pretty cheap.
The point is to get something the whole family can enjoy – preferably together – without blowing your budget.
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Black Friday Deals: Two Black Friday Deals You Must Avoid
Follow these two easy tips and you've have a less stressed holiday season and you'll avoid going into debt on Black Friday 2010 as well. After all, you do want to start off 2011 on the proper financial footing, right?
Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, an award-winning financial news journalist and former Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC, has been featured in the Washington Post, USA Today, and the New York Times, as well as magazines ranging from Essence and Redbook to Black Enterprise and Smart Money. Check out her New York Times best seller
'Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom.'
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Comments: (1)
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By: Sufi M on 12/09/2010 5:52PM
Hey there,
Great article, wicked website too! I've just been writing about credit debt and debt consolidation, very interesting what kind of statistical information is out there. Your post really illuminated a great deal for when I began to write my own article about holiday debt! Thanks a great deal =)
How To Avoid Credit Card Debt During The Holidays in Four Steps
http://www.theglaringfacts.com/avoid-debt-during-holidays/
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