We demand a great deal out of modern day celebrities. Perhaps too much. After all, in exchange for purchasing their over-priced concert tickets, albums and the never-ending stream of magazines with their Photoshopped mugs staring blankly back at us, they've already sacrificed so much. NOT!
There is clearly no correlation between being able to lip-synch while gyrating and wisdom. So I'm all for celebrities declaring that they don't want to be role models. They shouldn't be. After all, this week we capped off a string of reports of celebrities behaving badly. We've witnessed the tawdry exploits of Fantasia Barrino, Keri Hilson's desperate attempt to remain relevant by whipping her lady bits all over the Internet and most recently, Robyn Rihanna Fenty's public statements on intimate partner violence via the microblogging site Twitter.
I believe we should all claim our voices. I'm all for black women owning their true selves and whatnot. But I really wish some celebrities would think twice before expressing themselves.
This week Rihanna chose to respond to a fan who is tired of hearing about Rihanna being brutally attacked by ex-boyfriend and recording artist Chris Brown. Because after all, there apparently is an expiration date on people wanting to hear about you being punched, kicked and bitten. It must be soooooo exhausting for Rihanna's fans to be confronted with the painful realities faced by far too many Bblack women in this country.
Which is why said fan of Rihanna's tweeted her suggesting that Rihanna stop talking about the "incident" and move on. By "incident" the "fan" means the beating meted out by Brown which resulted in Rihanna's face becoming a bloody pulp. The following exchange took place between Rihanna and a fan on Twitter:
greenangeleyez1: I luv u bt it's time u stopped talking about the situation with chris in interviews. How r people gonna move on?
Rihanna quickly responded
AGREED! People won't stop askin abt it! Its f*ckin annoying! Nobody wants to relive that, but some ppl can't respect that!
"I get it, they wanna raise awareness to young girls," "But it ends up just makin me look bitter, pitiful, spiteful and angry!"
HELLO! hopefully this is the last time....
(via Necole Bitchie)
No , hopefully this isn't the last time. Are black women are running around encouraging other black women to be silent about violence against black women?
I get the fact that Rihanna didn't ask for her life to be defined by the violent actions of Chris Brown. Being attacked wasn't her fault. I think its horrible that the LAPD leaked the photos of Rihanna's battered face to the press. It was a gross violation of her privacy. I also understand that Rihanna never volunteered nor should she be required to be a spokesperson for domestic violence.
However petulant tweeting and caviler attitude towards "raising awareness to young girls" is the height of celebrity selfishness. It's one thing for Rihanna to believe this. It's another thing for her to tweet those sentiments to young girls. Celebrities can't have it both ways. They want to influence young children to buy their albums, perfume and magazines, but then want to act as if they don't have any duty to wield that influence in a responsible manner.
Ask Tonya Hunter's family if they'd like to hear her sound "bitter" and "angry" about intimate partner violence. I am sure they'd like Tonya to have the chance to "move on." But, they won't because domestic violence ended her life. And sadly, black women are more at risk of being killed by an intimate partner than other groups:
According to a 2008 study of 2006 data by the national nonprofit organization Violence Policy Center, black women are killed at a rate nearly three times higher than that of white women. In the study, which identified 1,818 women by race who were murdered by men, 1,208 of the victims were white and 551 were black. (The Root)Rihanna's fans ought to send up a LOUD prayer of gratitude for the fact that when Chris Brown was bashing her in the head he didn't cause a serious head injury or worse -- her death. And instead of whining about the perception that discussing a brutal physical assault makes a victim sound bitter and angry, Rihanna should challenge why that perception exists. Or why we demand that crime victims "move on" for our convenience -- and the issues behind someone like Rihanna being so flippant about her own abuse.
Rihanna: next time someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, please pull a Beyonce and smile while remaining SILENT. Or better yet, have your people tell the reporters that you will NOT discuss the matter further. After all, it's much better to raise awareness about your next album release than it is to highlight when possible that far too many black women in this country don't get the opportunity to "move on" after their attack. Or I have a better idea.
You could embrace your job as a leader for black girls, whether you want all the responsibilities of the role or not, and speak up in a way that can prevent further cases of abuse. If you could be a hero to more black women, you might even see your album sales increase.
Think about that.
Gina McCauley is the CEO of the Blogging While Brown Conferenceand the blogsMichelle Obama Watch and What About Our Daughters. She is currently completing her first book, 'Michelle Obama Watch.'


Comments: (35)
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By: natalienjackson on 12/01/2010 5:46PM
The domestic violence is reported to not have begun with Chris Browns publicized actions. It has long been reported (industry social scenes) the volatile nature of their relationship and her history of perpetrating aggressive behavior towards him, including physical means of expressing her frustrations with him. Jus a thought
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By: Clinesha18 on 12/01/2010 3:39PM
Ladies: Show of hands; How many of you think it's ok to slap, spit or hit on your man when he pisses you off?
I truly believe she so tight lipped is because she slapped the shiznit out of his azz in that car over that text message from another chic and he boxed her azz up. They had a volatile relationship and snapped that night.
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By: andrea on 12/01/2010 3:58PM
wow! you are really a peice of work! no one knows what started the fight and im not ever condoning violence towards men either, but you are. youre statement sounds like your defending brown is the fight, like "she hit him first" defense. are u serious? the reports noted that she hit him and he began attacking her, punched her in the side of the head which gave her a concussion, after she blacked out , he continued attacking her while she couldnt defend herself...punch after punch to the face with no defense. and you are here writing a defense for him.....smdh, you should be ashamed of yourself and you are no woman. you are still very immature obviously. so although she shouldnt of hit him, he really is only justified for hitting her once, not 20-40 times. i really hope youre not a chris brown fan, he makes me sick, he IS a WOMAN BEATER, so if you want to idolize that, then black woman like you will never be respected, i wouldnt forgive my son for doing that to his gf and i wont forgive him. shame on you clinesha
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By: charmaine on 12/02/2010 4:41PM
I totally agree with your comment. We were not there, however two wrongs don't make a right. She should not respond to any comments on the topic because she's not a role model to young girls. While she's parading around the world talking crap, Chris Brown is paying the price. He should really open up about her.
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By: blkadonis7 on 12/03/2010 3:58AM
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT A WOMAN DID TO YOU, SHE SHOULD NOT BE ABUSED IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. IF YOU AS A MAN CAN'T WALK AWAY, YOU ARE A COWARD!, AND NEED TO BE LOCKED UP FOREVER! UNLESS YOU ARE DEFENDING YOUR LIFE! AND THIS IS ALL TOO COMMON IN BLK SOCIETY. AND SOME WOMAN SAY SHE DID SOMETHING TO DESERVE THE BEATING...THAT IS HORRIBLE!...SHAME ON YOU!...YOU ARE CURSED FOREVER!!! CHRIS BROWN IS FOREVER A COWARD AND A WEAKLING IN MY BOOK!!! I WILL NEVER BUY CHRISBROWN CD, NOT LIKE I LIKED HIM ANYWAY, OR LISTEN TO HIS WEAKASS MUSIC!!!...WOMANBEATER!!!...
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By: NiecyC on 12/01/2010 3:54PM
Personally not a fan of her music. But this was the most intelligent thing I've heard her say.
She did not ask to be the poster child for domestic violence and nor should she if she is not comfortable with it.
One's profession should not make it mandatory for them to lecture everybody on how she felt.
She personally feels bitter when she speaks about it.
She'd like to move on. Allow her to.
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By: Maria on 12/02/2010 7:43AM
The thing is, if she really wanted to stop talking about it, she would! Its not at all difficult to reply to a question with a simple "No comment". Better yet, have her people prep the intervier with suitable questions before hand. I'm quite certain we'll all be reading even more about it when her next LP is due to be released!
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By: Kris on 12/01/2010 5:13PM
I agree with all of you to a certain extent there were both wrong, but then again not advocating violence but she was known to be emotionally and verbally abusive to Chris for a long time. He snapped. She snapped. No one deserves to be abused by any terms mentally, physically, and verbally. Plus I now first hand that there are some women that lie about certain things but never say what THEY did. Yeah he hit her but she hit him too and more than likely she hit him and she hit him first and expected him not to hit her back that is what a lot of women do they hit dudes because they think they can still keep hitting them without them reacting. She will always point the finger at him but she will never say what she did to him either. They were both wrong in a violent relationship but there are two sides to every story some women do cry wolf because society is always looking at the man like it is his fault without getting the whole story. I think Chris Brown was wrong for what he did but I think he was defending himself too and he was tired of being hit so he reacted. I don't thin he hit just to hit her. But I think she provoked him in ways to get under his skin. Then when things went down the way they did she cried wolf. The best thing about the situation is that they're not together anymore.
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By: Tired! on 12/02/2010 6:22PM
Speak Kris...speak...I'm listening and I agree 100%!!!!!
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By: Hotep2You on 12/02/2010 8:56AM
if gina mccauley (author of this article) would like to educate, and promote awareness of domestic violence- then that is EXACTLY what SHE should do. she should blog about it, speak about it each- and every time she is at an event, or in the presence of a young woman, or young man who she feels would benefit from the information. host a fundraiser...gather up all of her family & friends and their network of friends & family, show a film- invite a professional who works in the field, and perhaps a survivor or two- and facilitate a fireside chat. print flyers...tweet about it...launch mass email campaigns ... visit schools ... girl/boy scouts of america ... boys/girls club of america ... jack & jill ... college campuses ... on a street corner ... time square ... wherever or whenever! in other words- if this is a passion of hers then SHE should get out there and spread the word and educate!
but in launching a verbal assualt on rihanna she is, in essence- launching an attack on an actual victim (survivor) of the very group of women she wants to champion.
bottomline- as a vitcim/ survivor of domestic violence, there are only three forces that rihanna must deal with during her journey of recovery- herself, her God, and her counselor (if she's seeing one). if she chooses to discuss her experience publically ever again- it should be on her terms, and her terms only! in two months, it will have been 2-years since the altercation occurred- so imo rihanna should expect that people are past wanting to focus on it when she agrees to interviews. *clearly they're not over it. so her people should make it clear that she will no longer discuss it in public during interviews*
my point, no one- other than rihanna can determine when, if, and how she moves on.
so please get over yourself, and go out there and lead the fight against, and heighten the awareness of- domestic violence! STOP- criticizing someone else on what they're doing- or not doing.
don't just talk about it-BE about it! ;0)
Hotep!
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