As we work our way through the holidays, I am finding that life is never short on teachable moments. So, as you're taking down the tree, celebrating Kwanzaa, or doing whatever else floats your boat during these excessively commercialized holidays, I thought I would share a few fun and interesting lessons I've learned over the past week. Some of these items are things I've always known, but being slapped upside the head with holiday stress has reminded me of the obvious.
1) Kids are expensive as "hayell": All the brothers out there who are making babies without keeping count may want to stop and take notice of just how expensive kids can actually be. Not only are kids expensive, they become more costly as they get older. Now that my daughter and god kids are in college, the cost is through the roof. I keep wondering when it's all going to end, and the older I get, the more I learn about the high cost of reproduction. I don't recommend having sex without an 18-year financial plan.
2) Educational toys are a must for infants: When buying gifts for your child, always make sure you buy something educational. African Americans have to continue learning to embrace the value of education and push it like nothing else. This starts when your child is the cradle. We've got to teach our babies something before they start learning from Lil Wayne.
http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes=uiConfig,feedConfig,entry&id=969019&pid=969018&uts=1293721829
http://cdn.channel.aol.com/cs_feed_v1_6/csfeedwrapper.swf
Sanity During The Holidays
De Stress
If you are like most people, you plan to work right up to the moment you are going to board the plane or hop in the car -- you are taking the stress of your job, adding on the stress of your trip, and then spending the holidays with a whole lot of stress on your shoulders. Make time in your schedule for some personal relaxation time, whether you get a massage, do deep breathing exercises or take a long bath. Start your holiday off right by releasing stress.
Getty Images
AP
BlackVoices.com
Sanity During The Holidays
De Stress
If you are like most people, you plan to work right up to the moment you are going to board the plane or hop in the car -- you are taking the stress of your job, adding on the stress of your trip, and then spending the holidays with a whole lot of stress on your shoulders. Make time in your schedule for some personal relaxation time, whether you get a massage, do deep breathing exercises or take a long bath. Start your holiday off right by releasing stress.
Sanity During The Holidays
Limit Alcohol
Although the holidays represent a time to gorge yourself on home-cooked delicacies, the theme for alcohol should be "everything in moderation." Alcohol impairs judgment, and is a depressant. This can leave you vulnerable to catching the crazy and blurting things out that you will regret later.
Sanity During The Holidays
Positive Jokes
When families gather, it's a great time to rib and tease each other. This is healthy, but make sure to keep it light and positive so as not to push any buttons. Grabbing your little sister, sitting on her head and farting may have been amusing when you were kids, but it is no longer an appropriate form of joking.
Sanity During The Holidays
Avoid Old Roles
Every person in the family plays a specific role (overbearing mom, always-at-work-dad, pestering big brother, bratty little sister, the smart one), and when they gather together, it's easy to revert back to the roles each person played when they were younger. This can lead to fights that open up old wounds and crazy-catching. Commit to being the adult you are now.
Sanity During The Holidays
Check Your Baggage
To avoid major family issues, do not attempt to resolve your personal issues with specific individuals. Check any past grievances at the door, and treat the holiday like you are on the political stage with everyone watching. This is not the time to bring up how your parents could've done a better job raising you. This is a time to enjoy the family as a whole.
Sanity During The Holidays
Button Pushing
Don't do it, and don't be a victim to it. As family, we know exactly what pushes each other's buttons. Comments like "Are you really going to eat seconds? Is that a wise choice?" are not the best things to say when you know your wife has been struggling with the "baby weight." This type of button pushing will only escalate issues lurking under the surface and lead to a room full of people catching the crazy!
Sanity During The Holidays
Take a Time Out
If you feel yourself catching the crazy, take a time out and get out of the situation. Take a walk, adjourn to the restroom, or feign a headache and find a quiet room where you can be alone with your thoughts. It is better to be absent for a short period than to scream at your husband in front of his whole family.
Sanity During The Holidays
Positive Affirmations
Come prepared with a pocket full of positive affirmations to help curb the negative thought process that is the onset of catching the crazy. Begin each affirmations with "I am" and always use the language of abundance. I am a strong, smart man who loves and cherishes his family. I am the beautiful mother of three amazing children, and I embrace life to its fullest. Positive affirmations are a great way to help shift your mind so you can enjoy your holiday with a positive outlook.
Sanity During The Holidays
Praise
Choosing to praise each individual member of your family by sharing with them what you think makes them special and unique is a great way to open up positive lines of communication within your family. Let your brother know that it is obvious to see that he is doing an amazing job raising his kids, and that his choices and decisions are a testament to his strength and capabilities as a father. You have the power to make each member of your family feel amazing, so show approval, gratitude and respect by praising them and you will have a home with less crazy and more love.
Sanity During The Holidays
Strengthen the Bond
Take a moment to ask yourself "What can I do today to bring me and my family closer together?" This is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your loved ones. Avoid what is wrong with your family, and instead turn your attention to what is great about your family. You can't choose your family, but you can choose whether you will be a victim to catching the crazy. Focus on what makes your family magnificent, and choose to share and exude love in all circumstances this holiday season.
Sanity During The Holidays
3) Cash is the best gift certificate on earth: Rather than trying to guess what my relatives want for Christmas, I just give some of them cash. Don't get me wrong -- I'll take some trips to the store or give gifts of love that don't cost a thing. But I also enjoy just reaching into my pocket and saying "Here ya go." This avoids the challenge of trying to guess what they want for Christmas and also allows me the comfort of knowing that if they don't enjoy their gift, it's their own fault. OK, maybe I'm just lazy, but you have to give me credit for being honest.
4) Each year is a chance to re-invent yourself: As I took a look over my achievements during the past year, I wasn't completely satisfied. Sure I held down some of the things that mattered and I believe I became a better father (which is a consistent goal of mine), but there was something missing. So, I realized that with the start of a new decade, there is a chance to leave the past behind and do a better job at being me. This applies to everyone, so I encourage you to use this year to find the greatness that lies inside of you. After you finish reading this article, you'll be a little closer to death than you were just a few minutes ago. Get started on fulfilling your dreams before time runs out.
5) Start saving for next year: I find that Christmas spending is less painful when I've spent the year planning for it. Well, I haven't actually done that before, but that's the plan for 2011. Spending so much money on such short notice can be painful, especially when your family size is expanding. I haven't had additional kids myself, but with my God children having kids of their own (effectively making me someone's God Grandfather - whoa!), I can hear the cha-chings coming from their little voices already. I better start prepping for next year right now.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and the author of the bookBlack American Money To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
NeNe Leakes Denies Kenya Moore Joining Atlanta 'Housewives'
The Conservative Fantasy History Of Civil Rights
Comments: (5)
Add a comment
By: Kristina on 12/28/2010 3:20AM
In years past, I longed to be set free from the financial enslavement of gift-giving during Christmas. I was spending way too much and our dinners have a minimum of 30 people at them, so it was just getting to be a bit much. I was laid off 2 years ago and am still out of work. This is the first year my longing to be free came true - and I had no choice. I bought flour, sugar, eggs, milk, flavorings, and muffin tins...everyone received personal pound cakes. I love to cook and bake and love to show people I care by the love I pour into those activities. PERFECT GIFT. About 30 ppl had smiles on their faces (including the kids) and it may have cost about $20 tops! I will drive myself crazy no more. Now, my focus will be new recipes and exciting edible treats.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Lisa on 12/28/2010 8:42AM
Here are some of my tips in helping with Christmas time spending:
Start saving in the beginning of the year- even if you can only set aside 10 or 20 dollars a week- this will add up big when Christmas time rolls around. Just make sure you are doing your regular savings as well.
I also start saving change in a huge container. You have to be consistent and diligent. One year, I managed to save over $200 in change and this year, I saved $138 in change that went toward Christmas. Don't be a discriminator of the coin people-it spends the same as paper.
I cannot emphasize the importance of BLACK FRIDAY!! Look, this is the only time where you will get the majority of the deepest discounts on things so just make yourself get up and do it just for that one day!!! You will save so much and the stores competiting only makes the deals that much better.
Look, buy gifts throughout the year! When you see something on sale, get it and save it till Christmas. Not hard at all.
After Christmas sales on gift bags and wrappings and decorations are always the way to go too. Don't pass this up because that way you don't have to worry about buying that stuff full price when the holiday rolls around again.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: James Gadson on 12/28/2010 12:43PM
Here is a tip I've learned about Christmas and Gift giving. If you were indoctrinated with these conditioned traditions you are not alone. You must however grow to understand that these traditions are not as good as they seem. They reinforce beliefs that are not real, they cause people to do things that are unnecessary for human development, and can actually be harmful.
These traditions were created for a reason most have not bothered to understand and because they have been so conditioned, do it blindly and without hesitation, and to make matters worse, they create a whole new generation of people who do the same things. This constant passing of these kind of traditions may have been fine if they improved the overall condition of mankind, but alas even when there is knowledge of mass murders in wars, rapes, tortures, human rights abuses etc., etc. People go right on doing what they have been conditioned (literally programmed) to do, and that is celebrating what are clearly pagan holidays etc. (Many believe in angels and devils).
The best thing you can all do for a resolution is cut off this type of insanity and stop passing it down to the children!
I'm sure there were no Christmas celebrating before the white man shipped our ancestors over here.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Joeanne on 12/29/2010 11:53AM
For years I fell into the tradition that we had to give gifts for christmas, often spending more than I could afford, credit cards, etc. this year I told all my family & friends Christmas is Jesus birthday, I celebrated his birthday with thank you Jesus & contributed to some worthy ministries when it is your birthday friend & family I will celebrate you. No gifts given this year, and I have no debt from this christmas.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Glorialls G. Weber on 12/30/2010 12:56AM
I thought I would share a few fun and interesting lessons I've learned over the past week. Some of these items are things I've always known, but being slapped upside.I want to write same words which you said But i write more different..
http://www.myspace.com/559087295
Reply to this Comment | Report This