Condoleezza Rice, the first black woman to become a U.S. Secretary of State, was interviewed recently on the newly minted CNN show, 'Piers Morgan Tonight,' to be asked of all things: Why are you not married? That question no successful African American female can escape. The single, black (semi-successful) woman that I am couldn't help but shrink in insecurity as this ubiquitous puzzler was posed even to one of the most prominent black women alive. Why the embarrassment?
Yes, such questions make for great ratings. It's a question Piers Morgan might have asked any single V.I.P. Watching a woman who used to wield massive diplomatic and military power talk of cooking fried chicken was a hoot. But despite the innocence of the utterance, for black women everywhere that question is the articulation of a Greek tragedy-style family curse: An unsolvable source of suffering for black women that just keeps getting passed down. Piers may not have known that, but refering to it even obliquely is enough to make one's heart hurt.
Recently, the media has made questioning professional black female singledom into a mind-numbing mantra. Why can't enough black women get married? Why can't successful black women get married? What will happen to all the successful single black women as they get older because they can't get married? It's one thing to ask these questions of the average professional black woman. It's another thing to transform even Condoleezza Rice in an object of pity with these words. Because that is what this line of reasoning does. And now all of America is partaking in the pity party that used to only take place in our sister cirlces, hair salons and the occasional work of sister-girl fiction. Now that everyone is in on it, black women can't even make being lonely together into a good time anymore.
Michelle Obama: Some conservative folks would prefer she cover them up, but the first lady works hard for those shoulders, biceps and triceps. Why hide them? "If I don't exercise," she told Oprah Winfrey, "I don't feel good."
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Michelle Obama: Some conservative folks would prefer she cover them up, but the first lady works hard for those shoulders, biceps and triceps. Why hide them? "If I don't exercise," she told Oprah Winfrey, "I don't feel good."
Madonna: As with everything else having to do with Madge, her arms are controversial. Some hate her cut biceps, but fans say she looks amazing. Whether you like the look or not, you can't deny that those guns are serious!
Angela Bassett: The world took notice of Bassett's killer arms when she played Tina Turner in 'What's Love Got to Do with It.' Sixteen years later, her arms still wow on the red carpet. Her secret? Exercise and good genes!
Evangeline Lilly: What's one place where this television actress isn't 'Lost?' The gym. The Canadian actress stays buff for her hit TV show by surfing, running, dancing, lifting weights and doing yoga and pilates.
Venus & Serena Williams: Anyone who doesn't know how these famous sisters got their rock-hard bodies has been living under a rock! The tennis champions dominate their sport and have the muscles to prove it.
Hillary Swank: She played a boxer alongside Morgan Freeman in 'Million Dollar Baby,' and it wasn't a stretch to imagine the toned actress actually pummeling an opponent in the ring. In the gym, Swank focuses on pilates and weights.
Michelle Yeoh: She might have made her living starring in Chinese and American martial arts films, but Yeoh has no formal training in martial arts. She's actually a trained ballet dancer, which explains her lean, defined limbs.
Vanessa Williams: She might share her name with another famous actress, but this Williams still stands out, especially on the red carpet. The 'Soul Food' star's vegetarian diet helps her stay fit.
Jada Pinkett-Smith: Former gym bunny Jada has recently had to tone back on the hardcore workouts, because they were hurting her joints. But even with lower impact exercising, Jada's still got the hard body.
Jessica Biel: Biel's one actress who is proud she's not rail thin. "You don't have to be stick skinny to be gorgeous," she has said. "Muscles are beautiful. Strong bodies, working out and eating healthily is beautiful."
I know what you may be thinking. BV on Money just ran an article that explicity fingered our sexual-social wound, while packing it deeply with the salt of hopelessness. For some reason, as much as I'm complaining, it's impossible to really let the issue go as many have vociferously requested. This image of the hard-working, successful, classy, beautiful, articulate (and in Rice's case powerful) African American woman who just can't get a man, no matter what -- is addicting. Sure, we are all tired of hearing about it, but just like supporting that best friend who creates needless problems, talking about it endlessly is stimulating entertainment.
It strikes such a deep emotional cord, full of high drama, it's a difficult addiction to break. I'm not holding my breath for the moment when beating this "dead horse" renders it even comatose. But if we have to keep discussing it (as we do), I'd rather keep the debate over why successful black women can't get married within the walls of our real-world and virtual communities. For some reason it seems wrong when the topic crosses over and is dissected by the "other side." From 'Precious' to 'Good Hair,' we don't need another reason for mainstream audiences to look at black women in a melancholic light. Especially not our most successful women.
What do you think? Was Piers intentionally out of line or completely innocent while questioning why Rice, "catch" that she is, can't get a man?
OMG...I have never heard such ignorant responses to that question, especially from Sandra. What in the "Sam Hill" does color have to do with it. Michelle Obama and Barack make a lovely couple with a lovely set of children.
In the streets we say one word, alot of these females have it all but they are not humble,to have success and and beauty and be single is nothing to be proud about !!!, learn to be humble !!!
By: Sandra on 1/24/2011 5:04PMHighest Ranked In a nutshell, successful black women are single because Black Men are INSECURE period! They can't handle a strong, successful, smart Black Woman. They get jealous and sometimes downright mean, with intentions to hurt and purnish a hard working Sista who's arrived. Condi should look for a White Man. Some of them are not mean, cruel or insecure. Note I said some, coz their are white jerks too!
Ms. Rice is much probably much too intelligent to apply your logic in how to meet Mr. Right. It is indeed Interesting that you would not add the qualifier "some" to your blanket statement about Black males. And I am sure it was not an "oversight". As a Black male who was happily married to a very succesful and beautiful BLACK woman for 25 years before she passed away, your comment is not only crude, but also very shallow. My marriage was not a rarity either. My own parents were both very successful and were together for 55 years before my Father passed away. I could elaborate with more examples, but will not waste any more time. Maybe YOU have a behavioral or personality defect that causes you attract jealous,insecure men. Or maybe deep down you have a resentment of Black men. Whatever Whatever it is you have a appear to have a problem.
Condoleeza Rice, Oprah Winfrey and Tina Turner are all successful, attractive and intelligent black women and great role models for other black women. They are all single and unmarried. Black women -- or any woman for that matter -- do not have to go out into the world husband hunting. They seem very content with their lives and doing just fine. Better single than in an unhappy, troubled marriage.
Please! I am well-educated and married to a well-educated brother. Most successful and secure Black women are married and most to successful and secure Black men. This is media-fueled nonsense complemented by a handful of sorry sidelined sisters (and perhaps a bitter homosexual or two!). Every other decade or so the plight of so-called Black women who 'can't get a man' is begun by the media - both Black and white - Why is it no one writes exposes on the plight of single white women? I still remember the deluge of quickie weddings that took place right after the 9/11 bombings of white women and their previously-never had heard of- beaus. As to Condi Rice, she is not married by personal choice. I think Morgan was out of life. He certainly did not ask white supermodel Carol Alt why she wasn't married when they appeared together on Trump's show. Nor would he ask the same question of Martha Stewart!
I myself have often wondered why she has not gotten married. But, at the same time, it is entirely her business. Not every woman (black included) is obsessed or hung up with getting married. For some, if it happens it happens, and if it does not it does not. There is nothing written in the sand or in the ten commandments saying that a woman must get married. How many black men do you know that could measure up to her, and be an equal match? As a matter of fact, how many white men or otherwise? She seems to be happy, and at the end of the day, her life has been scandal free and clean, and whether she marries or not is her business.
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By: C. Brown on 1/26/2011 9:48AM
OMG...I have never heard such ignorant responses to that question, especially from Sandra. What in the "Sam Hill" does color have to do with it. Michelle Obama and Barack make a lovely couple with a lovely set of children.
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By: laurie on 1/26/2011 10:23AM
Amen
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By: MIKELOVE on 1/26/2011 10:30AM
In the streets we say one word, alot of these females have it all but they are not humble,to have success and and beauty and be single is nothing to be proud about !!!, learn to be humble !!!
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By: Vincent Franks Jr on 1/26/2011 12:20PM
I would love to take Ms. Rice out on a date. I always like her style and demeanor since her White House days. Hook me up.
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By: steve on 1/26/2011 5:26PM
By: Sandra on 1/24/2011 5:04PMHighest Ranked In a nutshell, successful black women are single because Black Men are INSECURE period! They can't handle a strong, successful, smart Black Woman. They get jealous and sometimes downright mean, with intentions to hurt and purnish a hard working Sista who's arrived.
Condi should look for a White Man. Some of them are not mean, cruel or insecure. Note I said some, coz their are white jerks too!
Ms. Rice is much probably much too intelligent to apply your logic in how to meet Mr. Right. It is indeed Interesting that you would not add the qualifier "some" to your blanket statement about Black males. And I am sure it was not an "oversight". As a Black male who was happily married to a very succesful and beautiful BLACK woman for 25 years before she passed away, your comment is not only crude, but also very shallow.
My marriage was not a rarity either. My own parents were both very successful and were together for 55 years before my Father passed away. I could elaborate with more examples, but will not waste any more time. Maybe YOU have a behavioral or personality defect that causes you attract jealous,insecure men. Or maybe deep down you have a resentment of Black men. Whatever Whatever it is you have a appear to have a problem.
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By: Sandy on 1/27/2011 4:43PM
Condoleeza Rice, Oprah Winfrey and Tina Turner are all successful, attractive and intelligent black women and great role models for other black women. They are all single and unmarried. Black women -- or any woman for that matter -- do not have to go out into the world husband hunting. They seem very content with their lives and doing just fine. Better single than in an unhappy, troubled marriage.
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By: Sandy on 1/27/2011 2:00PM
Single is nothing to be ashamed of, so don't try manipulation by guilt and branding. That went out with the dark ages.
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By: crabcake on 1/27/2011 3:55PM
Please! I am well-educated and married to a well-educated brother. Most successful and secure Black women are married and most to successful and secure Black men. This is media-fueled nonsense complemented by a handful of sorry sidelined sisters (and perhaps a bitter homosexual or two!). Every other decade or so the plight of so-called Black women who 'can't get a man' is begun by the media - both Black and white - Why is it no one writes exposes on the plight of single white women? I still remember the deluge of quickie weddings that took place right after the 9/11 bombings of white women and their previously-never had heard of- beaus. As to Condi Rice, she is not married by personal choice. I think Morgan was out of life. He certainly did not ask white supermodel Carol Alt why she wasn't married when they appeared together on Trump's show. Nor would he ask the same question of Martha Stewart!
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By: JeannaD on 2/05/2011 11:14PM
I myself have often wondered why she has not gotten married. But, at the same time, it is entirely her business. Not every woman (black included) is obsessed or hung up with getting married. For some, if it happens it happens, and if it does not it does not. There is nothing written in the sand or in the ten commandments saying that a woman must get married. How many black men do you know that could measure up to her, and be an equal match? As a matter of fact, how many white men or otherwise? She seems to be happy, and at the end of the day, her life has been scandal free and clean, and whether she marries or not is her business.
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By: Hans Giza on 2/22/2011 10:31AM
I love you,Condi,my lovely sweet darling!
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